X-ray on my head

another funny poem i have rewrote this poem i have the first version and the second version let me know what you think and which one is better

first version 

    I had a visit, 

A visit with the doctor, 

Oh goody, 

Oh joy, 

He said i need a X-ray on my head, 

I wonder what he will find , 

I got an X-ray on my head , 

Went to go review it with my doctor , 

And this is what he said, 

No wonder why you are so silly , 

You have a apple, 

A pear, 

looks even like a bear, 

oh my there's even a duck, 

A arrow, 

A kite, 

A nickle , 

A dime , 

A hammer , 

And a nail, 

There's even a screw that is loose , 

Oh boy , 

Oh my , 

No wonder why i am so fly , 

My doctor found all of this in my head.

second version 

    x-ray on my head 

 just had a visit with my doctor, 

oh goody, 

oh my, 

he said i needed a x-ray on my head, 

i wonder what he will find, 

i got an x-ray on my head, 

went in for a report, 

and my doctor looked at me and shook his head, 

he said, 

i'm sorry mam, 

i have found whats wrong with your head, 

and it's no wonder why your so silly, 

this is what i found in your head, 

there is a pear, 

looks to be even a bear, 

oh my there's even a duck, 

a arrow, 

a kite, 

a nickel, 

a dime, 

and that's not even the end the list goes on, 

i have found a hammer, 

a nail, 

there's even a screw that is loose, 

oh boy, 

oh my, 

no wonder why i am so fly, 

the doctor said he doesn't know what he can do for my brain, 

he said it's already so full nothing else can fit, 

my doctor suggested to me to just go home and rest

Author's Note

hope you like it
no rude comments

Reviews

[Ren Nightshade]

Hahaha I like reading your poetry. It reminds me of when I read Dr. Seuss!!

[barleygirl]

Brilliant uninhibited humor with a ton of imagination. I do some silly writing myself, so I'm damn jealous of this little gem. I wish I'd thought of it! This is such a great idea, as well as good writing. You use great details that are so off-the wall! I'm glad I found you at the cafe just now (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[gram linski]

Great read, Jennifer, hope this was not all found in your head, metaphors, possibly, but actually might just be, lol.

[M.E.Lyle]

My head isn't big enough to hold all that stuff. This was hilariuosly funny. I enjoyed it very much.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

lol. This poem was great. I had a good time reading it.

[wordman]

lol,this means you`re normal,and still growing