touch of you're lips!!!

another love poem

Touch of you’re lips,

　

Touch of you’re lips,

Their so presuse,

I love them,

Their so sexy,

I love you’re lips,

I want to kiss you all night long,

Baby boy i love you so much,

Hold me,

Kiss me,

Love me,

Be my baby boy forever until the end.

　

　

The End,

BY:Jennifer Little

Author's Note

well let me know what you think

Reviews

[Jasmine]

No one on here ever seems to give criticism, as they worry about hurting a writer's feelings, but I'd rather be truthful and help someone improve than lie.

This poem is too simple, and extremely childlike. There is virtually no description.
You need to rethink your writing style, and have another go.

Read some Hardy, Keats, Tennyson and so on. Look to the greats for guidance.

[Eagle Cruagh]

I think you love his lips,
I think you are a passionate writer
Read my stuff and I will read the rest.
NOTICE:
Do not be discouraged. Every one who reads this
will have a different opinion. Some people want to
correct everybody. Pay no atatention to them,
when you write a masterpiece then we will get
the criticizers to edit it for you.
I thoroughly enjoyed your poem.
THANK YOU !
----- jOHN

[J. J. Nightingale]

Touch of your lips,

　

Touch of your lips,

They are so precious........... OR they're

I love them

They are so sexy ................OR they're

I love your lips !

I want to kiss you all night long

Baby boy, I love you so much

Hold me

Kiss me

Love me ..

Be my baby boy forever til the end



Beautiful words of Love ... Jazzy :)

[J. J. Nightingale]

EVERY ONE CAN LEARN FROM ANYONE .. AND WE ARE THE BETTER FOR IT .. IF WE CAN NOT LISTEN, AND ACCEPT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM , THEN HOW CAN WE GROW .. JAZPERANZA WAS NOT BEING RUDE .. MAYBE SHE COULD HAVE WORDED HER REVIEW A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY, BUT STILL SHE BRINGS UP VALID POINTS .. .. POETRY IS FROM OUR EXPERIENCE, AND FROM OUR MIND AND HEART ... IT TAKES TIME TO LEARN HOW TO EXPRESS OUR THOUGHTS .. .READING THE GREAT CLASSIC POETS IS A GOOD START !! .. YOU HAVE THINGS TO SAY, AND YOU HAVE A LOVING TENDER HEART .. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO POST WHATEVER YOU LIKE.. .. BUT NEVER WALK AWAY ANGRY, FROM ADVICE .. I KNOW IT HURTS .. BEEN THERE MANY TIMES MYSELF .. .. THIS POEM IS ABOUT LOVE .. AND THAT IS A GOOD SUBJECT TO WRITE ABOUT !! .. .. I LIKE YOUR SWEET THOUGHTS JEN ....

JAZZY :)

[Miss Marie Riorden.]

I like this, it is short and sweet.
But I would like to point out that it's "your" and not "you're"
And that "their" is "they're."
That's the only thing that bugs me, but otherwise it is really sweet. :3

-Marie Riorden-

[jennifer little]

you know i hate it when people like you put my stuff and work down ok i have lots and lots of work on here you could of read something else and if you got somthign to say dont say rude stuff ok leave my work alone and dont ever ever tell me to go and read this or that ok ive been writing since i was in 2nd grade ok and i write what i write and feel like writing ok so get a life go be rude to someone else ok

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Perfectly simple and defined, well done, good read.

[?]

Very sweet thoughts...like how you are able to put your thoughts down so freely.
Very good

[Silver_Anime]

i really like it :) its a very sweet poem

[hmm]

I like this, it's wonderful and sweet