The story lost in the" NILAVARAKUNDU"

The story lost in the" NILAVARAKUNDU"

A Story by M P Ramesh
"

a POSTMODERN Malayalam short story originally published in KALAKAUMUDI weekly in Malayalam in 1998 and written in 1996..... Only first page is translated

"
A story that got lost in the hidden casket


What is it....?
Lying down in everlasting coldness as if in a pose of savasana, inside the concealed casket, Kalyani is seeking the answer. Shekharan was a bit miffed, for he felt that the query had a tone of conciliation. Yet, as she allowed him to feel the balloon-like velvety softness around her navel by pressing his head on to it, some wild emotion spread out through his inner core. Breaking out through the cordon of words, it came bursting out through his lips, which had been dipping into the deepness of her navel.
“A man, who has never endeavoured to take advantage of any female in his life, will die an eternal celibate”.
She giggled in delightful laughter.
“Is it Shekharan’s own outlook or is it the common talk of your gender-folk?”
He had returned his lips to its former location.
“Your body has more coldness than this. Shekharan, why is it so?”
He only murmured in response.
“It is not my gender-folks’. Let me tell you of my most private thoughts”. She twined her two thighs around his neck as a sort of hook.
“I should have had got the name Chandrika”.
He.
Two reasons are appearing in the mind.
1. She must have heard or bought the verses of that ancient, gifted poet from some cassette shop. Or she must have read its parody in some newspaper sheets.
However, his mind disallowed him from conceding such a possibility to her, whose life swayed to the din and bustle of cybersex and digital brotherhood, and who lived in an ambience of bustling English talk that had the swishing sound of swinging casuarinas.
Then the second reason appeared out of its veil.
He.
She must have at least heard it mentioned, when she browsed through the old river-story, in one of those old masterpieces, in which the famous storywriter must have wandered into the countryside as he sought his inspirations from nostalgic reminiscences.

© 2015 M P Ramesh



Author's Note

M P Ramesh
Originally written in MALAYALAM, an Indian language in 1997

My Review

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Featured Review

Hello Mr. Ramesh,

Being a novice, I feel unfit to comment on something that is clearly above the level of parlance I am used to. But I would still like to offer my views on this piece.

Well firstly, there are parts which I could not make out quite clearly for example; what has the girl actually found out, something that is a matter of concern for Shekaran?
I really liked the feel of the story, the ambience, that is created by the vivid descriptions of the environment.
And the best part is the sensual, playful yet profound way the plot flows.
This indeed takes a reader to the past era with crisp and detailed imagery!

I liked the overall piece, enjoyed reading it!

Regards
Jyoti


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

manju menon

1 Year Ago

That was really nice...I am not as good as you in playing with words....very interesting
M P Ramesh

1 Year Ago

Manju,
Thanks....I have a doubt ...whether the comment is related to the review or the story.. read more
manju menon

1 Year Ago

how do I get to read kalakaumudi?



Reviews

Hello Ramesh,

I am trying to access the story in Malayalam. not finding online, could you send me the copy to my inbox.

Thank you.

Posted 8 Months Ago


M P Ramesh

8 Months Ago

jessi


with pleasure.
Mainly because a shortstory after a 21 years of i.. read more
jessy

8 Months Ago

sure,

mjessy2717@gmail.com
so glad to see your reply, thank you.
jessy

8 Months Ago

otherwise, I thought I couldn't find it online, maybe needed to go library. I appreciate your help a.. read more
You write so well, yet I couldn't understand it after reading once. It could be much better if you would have written it simple so that even an average person could understand the thoughts you wanted to convey.
Thank you!

Posted 1 Year Ago


M P Ramesh

1 Year Ago

anj,

Thanks for the sincere comments made.
We can discuss it about the interio.. read more
You go the extra mile when it comes to badger the words. Really thoughtful of u in depicting very extract of the story.

Posted 1 Year Ago


M P Ramesh

1 Year Ago

kirti,

Nice to notice the dimensions of feeling on reading the first page of it.
read more
An interesting piece that gives us a little glimpse of these two people and what they're doing.
Here are some of my thoughts while reading:
- The beginning is very good - starting with direct speech and a question gets readers interested. However, put quotation marks around it.
- "Lying down ..." This sentence is still very much at the beginning of the story. That's why I feel it's a bit too long - maybe split it up into two. In general, short sentences are better than longer ones in a story.
- Sometimes your language seems a little formal. Words like 'yet', 'former', 'conceding', etc. are usually used in an essay and not in a story.

I'm assuming some of these points can be explained by the fact that this is a translation. Overall, it's an interesting read.

Posted 1 Year Ago


M P Ramesh

1 Year Ago

kathrin,
nice....the rendering is new somewhat 2 year or three years .. read more
M P Ramesh

1 Year Ago

kathrin,

I checked just now....the ......"what's it" isa under the marks only in orig.. read more
M P Ramesh

1 Year Ago

kathrin,
rendering is a challenge indeed............" nilavarakundu" is not hidden casket as .. read more
Hello mr mp ramesh ..........nice work must say that.....shekaran and kalyani....awesome written!!! words are less for its appreciation!!....

Posted 1 Year Ago


M P Ramesh

1 Year Ago

you could have read its other 3 pages....am rendering it to English as part of my translation work ... read more
Well... Take out some of the complicated parts, and rewrite it a little more... Simple.
Give some more action, and detail of the actual environment in which the characters are. Also, try a little visual on the characters. Like. .How they look like exactly. And give a final goal, meaning to it. Some action in between, and you'll have a great story. Also ...You say only first page is translated. What about the rest?

Posted 1 Year Ago


M P Ramesh

1 Year Ago

Danny ,
You can go through the details of the below mentioned reviews and comments and cross.. read more
It's definitely a very detailed piece but it would be nice if it were put more simply...but other than I enjoyed reading this very much

Posted 1 Year Ago


Complexity in a wonderful ambience or simply too much for me to understand.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Kripa Anna Cherian

1 Year Ago

Great I loved to read the Malayalam version.
Kripa Anna Cherian

1 Year Ago

*I would love to
M P Ramesh

1 Year Ago

kripa.,
OK

Get me your email ....or FB id
I will accept friend reque.. read more
Intriguing yet too unclear to be sure of its meaning.

Posted 1 Year Ago


M P Ramesh

1 Year Ago

Philip,
Only the first of 4 pages has been translated .It is abot a life altogether...of cou.. read more

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Added on December 31, 2015
Last Updated on December 31, 2015

Author

M P Ramesh
M P Ramesh

KERALAM, Cherppullasseri/Ottapalam, India



About
A short story writer , fictionist and poet in Malayalam. Write in Malayalam for the last 26 years and do publish works in leading malayalam periodicals. Not a bloggist and visit the site only to se.. more..

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