On Death

Irresistible teeth sinking into tainted flesh

Miss me miss me, I want you to kiss me, kiss me

Pin me down on red sheets, something nice like satin

Blindfold my eyes, my mind, my thoughts

Whisper things I might not understand. Then explain them to me with

your touch, your kisses, love

or lust. All of it by candle light.

               I want to stop breathing

Musicians screaming 'Satan', worship what is right, 

or even better wrong. Let's invent our own songs.

And if I scream,

if I cry,

pay attention to me. Tell me 'it's alright,

it'll only hurt a little longer and then you'll be free.'

Reviews

[Eleanor]

Wow I really liked this :)
You expressed really greatly how much the person wants to be noticed by the one they love. How much the person needs him/her.

Its great though but some editing could make it much better :) like-
"Miss me miss me, I want you to kiss me, kiss me"
The lines would have rhymed better if you put them separately and only one time rather than repeating them. Though it sounds okay the same also.

Nice job on this! Keep writing :)

[j.l. luna]

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! I will definitely take your words into consideration on the revision, I appreciate the advice! The line is originally inspired by a Dresden Dolls song. :]