Resolve

A by Jay M. Jones

Ah, those true tests of resolve. Life is full of them. They usually come at the most inoppurtune times. The realization that the true journey is now beginning sinks in, as I sit in awe of the musings of Phineas Newborn Jr. Sweet Jazz just calms my soul, and for that it will always be my one true love. We tend to look to so many things for guidance in our struggle for the illustrious spectre of "self". We bow to dieties, and build monuemnts to the conqerores of nations. We fawn upon the great thinkers of our day, and are patrons and consumers of the work of artists, writers, and musicians. But it is only durring those tests that we truly learn anything worth keeping in our shirt pockets, close to our hearts.

Some search for meaning through religoin, others search for meaning through art. I search for it through life. I am my own greatest teacher in that regard, and while some may find that to be monumentally arrogant, I find it to be the only truth I have ever been able to rely on in the whole of my 28 years of my existence. I strive for balance, because balance is what will present me wtih the oppurtunties to accomplish the things I have always wished to accomplish. I offer no appologies for my yearning for success. I find that a man without goals is no man at all. Goals, I have a plenty, and I have not even begun to get where I am going yet. Wherever that is, however, it will be my journey, and I will see it through to the end. I would rather die trying to get somewhere, than live aspiring to nothing.

Those moments creep up on us, and test our resolve like spirits in the night. They test us spiritually, ethically, and idealogically. The only way to beat them is to hold firm to your convictions. You know deep down who you are, and please make no appologies for being who you are. I know I sure as hell won't.