Coma

Another Tovli's Ten... these are always fun and challenging...

COMA

By: JB Murray © October 2010

 

 

An empire at sleep

Moss lingers

Dead and yellow

A sinner’s canvas

Covering this landscape

From season to season

When even rain

Cannot nourish

This fake garden

Where this lake of rolling thunder

Could never stir you

From your coma

Author's Note

Let me know what you think... all criticism is welcome...thanks!

Reviews

[beautiful disaster]

amazing. very well done.

[Gomer LePoet]

this is done quite well JB. Sounds like it could make a grundge song.

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Congratulations! A very good use of the required ten words!

[Tovli]

i iiked this; simple, with a romance all its own. tovli

[Helena]

Wow, this was fantastic! I really enjoyed this well thoughtout "Ten". Thanks for submitting this to Tovli's contest! Hope you join in the next one!