She Seeks the Woman

This was written exclusively for my daughter, which would be why some of the lines mean nothing except to her and me.

There once was a day

When she worshiped his laugh

She longed to be with him

Held tight in his grasp

 

He closes his eyes

And can see her before him

That four year old girl

That used to adore him

 

They played in her room

They walked hand in hand

They went to the zoo

They dug in the sand

 

Wall to wall Barbies

Room filled with balloons

Down the stairs on a blanket

Rugrats cartoons

 

He didn’t notice it happen

He doesn’t know when

That four year old girl

Became suddenly ten

 

They went on adventures

She learned to ride bikes

Rollerskates, Pokemon

Cat in the Hat hikes

 

He closes his eyes

And can see her before him

That ten year old girl

That used to live for him

 

They search for the weasel

They build Barbie’s home

Britney, the Spice Girls

A cruise ship to roam

 

What happened to all

Those years in between?

That ten year old girl

Is turning thirteen

 

She’s too old for Barbie

Her world’s now PG-13

And he misses the girl

He bounced on his knee

 

He closes his eyes

And can see her before him

The thirteen year old girl

Starting to ignore him

 

She’s seeking the woman

She’ll one day become

Why must it be now?

So soon and so young

 

He didn’t see it coming

It was never foreseen

That thirteen year old girl

Has just turned sixteen

 

He longs to be with her

But she’s left him alone

Her friends more important

Her ipod, her cell phone

 

He wishes they could talk

But he doesn’t know how

Each time that he tries

It turns ugly somehow

 

Why does he holler?

Why does he yell?

He just wants to love her

Instead he puts her though hell

 

He never means to

It’s not his intention

He’s afraid it’s too late

To give her redemption

 

The hurt that she feels

He can’t kiss and make better

Each time that he tries

Her pillow gets wetter

 

Where once was such closeness

Is now hurt and pain

If he could just take it back

And start over again.

 

He closes his eyes

And can see her before him

The sixteen year old girl

That he’s made to abhor him

 

She cries in ways

He can’t understand

He can’t know her pain

She won’t take his hand

 

He cries in ways

She’ll one day understand

She wants to grow up

But he still wants to be Dad

 

He finds himself sitting

Alone in her room

Remembering the days

That left him too soon

 

Forever and always

She was right by his side

The seat is now empty

Too often he’s cried

 

He still has his memories

Tucked away in a box

Her first fallen tooth

Her first pair of socks

 

Artwork that used to

Hang on his walls

A stitch from her chin

Her favorite dolls

 

He gently touches each one

And his heart starts to burn

Because he finally knows

His baby can never return

 

She seeks the woman

That she’ll one day become

He just wants to be Daddy

And have her stay young

 

He loves her so much

She’s his precious pearl

But she seeks the woman

And he misses the girl

 

 

 

 

I’m so sorry that I didn’t end up

being the Daddy that you always hoped for.

But you are the daughter I always hoped for.

Reviews

[lovejulez03]

Wow, this is beautifully written and so easy to relate to! You can never truly understand what it's like to be a parent until you're grown and/or a parent of your own. It made me sad to read this, but at the same time it was inspiring me and reminded me of how hard it is to grow up and what a mixture of emotions comes with having a child. I loved it!

[Alli]

I'm guessing this is the one about your daughter that you said was like mine! Beautifully written...and I'm sure you're a great father. We teenage girls can be hard to handle sometimes but I'm sure she'll come around.

[Valentine]

This so reminds me of what is going on with my 15 year old niece and her family..she is becoming a woman...they still want the child..perhaps many parents go through this when forced to release a child and let them fly,,,,alentine

[compositionc]

Simply gorgeous. I could really feel for the father.
Amazing.

[Cara Rosalie]

Jim,

What a heartfelt and touching outpour of your love. Sixteen is brutal for both parties involved. A battle for independence commences and the refusal to let go starts to strangle. You must rest assured that your daughter WILL one day grow up and blossom into the woman you have helped mold her into. She will look back on these torturous years and be thankful for the man who didn't abandon her. Too many parents give up during this precarious time, but it's your faithfulness to loving her unconditionally and consistently that will will pay off 5-10 years from now. And let me just say one more thing, if I may... I was raised by a father who, while he loved me very much, had no control over his temper. When he was angry, the whole neighborhood knew and I was usually the target of that anger. I was a bloodied mess by the time my husband found me and it took years to piece me back together. Love your daughter firmly, but remember to love her gently. She has but one soul, and sometimes the damage done early on is irrevocable.

Beautiful poem, Jim.

[Theresa C Newbill]

This is perfect. She will read this someday, if she has not already and cherish every word. That little girl is still inside her, dormant as she may be, but she's still there. One day she will go back to that place where everything was new, and simple, and awesome, and she will be able to share everything once again with you, if but for a moment. I love this!

[An owl on the moon]

This is so tenderly expressed with the deepest world of love for your daughter. I ached to read of the moving away as each year passed... May each coming year now bring you only back to that place of simple joy...

[KAREN]

This was so beautiful and written with so much heartfelt feeling! EXCELLENT!!

[Hatchling]

Beautifully written. Nice job

[writingisnothard]

amazing

[trainwreck]

This was fantastic! For someone who rarely writes poetry, this was fabulous. Great job.