I lost my mind without you

One of the worst feelings is being lonely. However I do hope you enjoy this piece.

I keep banging my head against my wall
Until I feel my warm blood drip against my fragile body
Down against my dirty floor
My whole body turns pale
I touch my sore head hoping to put me in a coma
So I can be free from my lonely deliriousness
I am used to the pain, but sick of living like this
I have not cleaned nor do anything productive in days
It feels like months when I am not with you
I only think of being lonely since you left
You left me with no real reasons
No family, no friends can help me
Only you were my hero who used to save me
Especially from cutting my wrist
Now I take my razor slicing away
Just the thought of you makes me feel like going into an Insane Islam
I never was enough for you
You always had to have more than one lover
Every time someone else held me close
I only thought of you
No matter what I try to do I can not let go of your love
I keep re-playing the images of you and I in my bruised brain
I bang my head against my white brick wall
Making my wall turn a bright red
I am swimming in my tears,
they did not evaporate because I keep crying
I am sadly dying before my eyes, not even time can heal my pain
I shut my phone off since every time I tried calling or texting you ignored me
You ignored me and shut me down countless times
I just do not know why I keep loving you so much
My empty heart puzzle pieces still miss you
I tried to make things right, but you kept shunning me down
I can not escape my own thoughts
I should of known you leave me too,
because everyone and everything I get close to hurts me somehow, some way
I go right back into slamming my head
Seeing my different colors of my hair falling out
That I dyed different colors so you would notice me more
My broken heart hurts more than my bloody head
Hoping my heart would stop beating permanently,
especially since it beats for you
I am falling apart and losing all my sense of control
Once again, I slam my head only dreaming I am in your arms
But since you left, I am sure you do not care that I am bleeding in pain
I never stopped loving you no matter how many times you were not there for me
Why did your love die for me?
I slowly get up to eat and to get a tissue for my cuts
My swollen red eyes start to twitch
My whole body feels agonizing pain
I fall, shivering cold on my tile floor
I am unable to breathe from my puffy nose nor dehydrated mouth
Having my phone in my pocket,
I do not care enough to turn it on to call the ambulance
Because I do not want to see that message, "No missed calls nor No new texts"
I am fine with my eyes starting to close, losing my blood from my broken body.

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

Overwhelming in its sadness and despair, how one life can lift us.. take us to places of peace.. how losing that one can drive us into the deepest sea. Your words express the most profound emotion and longing.