SWEET LIES

When my shirt catches blood,

When my eyes drop off proofs of pain,

Smoke fills and clears these lungs

And I lead myself to intoxication.

When my sobriety shrinks,

Confidence and courage inflate,

Giving way to the words this mind thinks,

Wishing you would hear them, then I say:

Refrain:

 "Will you ever learn?

 Will you ever change for better?"

Chorus:

 Please don't tell me what would please me

 Tell me what's not untrue.

 I'd rather be in pain for the truth

 Than be comforted by your lies.

 (2x)

 Your sweet lies.

The sweeter the lies, the sharper they are

As they pierce the heart you're supposed to embrace,

You're supposed to take care of,

You're supposed to love

And just when I thought that you were finally telling the truth,

I learned you were not!

I'm sick and tired of all your lies,

Your deceptions and long-term pretensions

(Refrain)

(Chorus)

Bridge:

 I think it's now time to watch myself let this feeling

 And the memories of you

 Burn out like a cigarette --

 Just  few whiffs to go, I hope.

(Chorus)

Author's Note

This is the second song that I wrote. I was about to attach herewith my recording of this song. But the device that I used is of low quality so it's not really that clear. I'll attach a video as soon as I record a better one.

Reviews

[S]

What is the best part about this piece is the sincerity with which it is written...
born out of experience???
People are like that, but maybe once, just once the other person's perspective has to be considered, for they might have seen a greater good in protecting someone with lies?

[Sir Joe]

Indeed, my friend, this has been a product of an experience. The author might have forgotten to detach himself from the writing that's why the piece tended to be too personal.
I must go on the same boat with you when you said that lies sometimes are not absolutely bad to say. White lies serve a great purpose.
Thank you for having taken some time to read this work of mine. =)

[S]

how can the writer detach himself from his is work?
Its just not possible :)

[Sir Joe]

When I said detach, I meant making the piece impersonal, or at least less personal.I should have just said "detach oneself a bit". I guess I'm now safe, having said those words. =)

-joe

[S]

that would have ruined this piece...its better this way...

[Sir Joe]

Thank you =)

[Just Kim]

This would make one heck of a song, Very creative and direct.
Some people are just like this too. i've known quite a few.
Awesome write.

[Sir Joe]

Thank you so much, tabbycat. =)
=)

[Pax]

Aha! ~ a song, now I’m intrigue on the finished product ~ don’t you forget to send us the link of the finished music video ~ :D ~

As I read through each stanza, I had a song in mind… I know it’s a different lyrics, but I feel the similarity on its sentiments… the song is: sweet nothing by calvin harris, sung by Florence… I like that song it’s about love that goes bitter, yet its taste of sweet nothing…

To write such painful lyrics seems be, you must had experienced it somehow or had witness it… the first stanza tells me about the a certain person, indulging to alcoholism… the second & third stanza led me to think that there is an affair going on in a relationship/marriage…

The chorus led me to think that this relationship is ‘full of lies’, these sweet little lies… and so goes to fifth & six stanza ~ I love this lines:
I'm sick and tired of all your lies,
Your deceptions and long-term pretensions
~ it really shows the emotional outburst of a long term infidelity…

The bridge ~ this made me think that your protagonist ends up alone and the memories still lingers, and your hoping for another chance – but it’s a long shot… like the song goes: “I put my faith in something unknown. I'm living on such sweet nothing. But I'm trying to hope with nothing to hold. I'm living on such sweet nothing”

Great work Sir joe…

[Sir Joe]

Sir Pax, I admire and thank you for having come up with this thorough and in-depth interpretation of this song of mine.
Speaking of that song by Florence, I haven't heard that song yet. I'll find time to listen to it. =)
Indeed, you are so good in reading between the lines or, shall I say, probing deep beneath the surface.
I'll tell you when I'm done with the video. =)
Thank you so much, Sir Paxie!

=)

[Pax]

you should, it has a upbeat tempo with such sad lyrics... what kind of genre is this kabayan... acoustic ba to? or ballad.. :D and your most welcome...

[Sir Joe]

It's acoustic. =)

[Androglossia]

Nice lyrics. Interested to see the video:)

[Sir Joe]

Thank you, Maryanne. =)

[Ency Bearis]

Beautiful lyrics. I am eager and excited to view the video.

[Sir Joe]

Thank you, Sir Ency! =)

[Ency Bearis]

you're welcome sir joe

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Nice lyrics. :)
I'll be waiting for the video, Sir Joe.
Enjoy your day!

[Sir Joe]

Thank you, Dhaye! =)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I have only one question: Why is it that you quoted the refrain?

[Sir Joe]

That's a direct quotation.
Then I say "Will you ever learn?..."

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Ah, okay. That's the first time I saw a refrain as a direct quotation (while the chorus seems to be included in the quotation) Hehehe..
Please work on your video. I'm excited to hear the tune of this song...before vacation ends. (:

[Sir Joe]

I'll be working on my video soon.
The words "then I say", which precedes the refrain, denote that the next few words (refrain) are a direct quotation, unlike the chorus which, though addressed to the person, is not really directly spoken to the same addressee.
Thank you, Dhaye, for noticing it. =) You really have keen eyes. =)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Just keen to challenging but my fave writers... writers na ngayon kasi nadagdagan na naman...si Sir Ency, ang galing. Na-challenge ako sa Conrete poetry niya kasi di pa ako dati marunong. I discovered the technique how to make it. Now, I have two. Hehe...

[Sir Joe]

Wow, aus ahh. I'll check your poems. =)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Wow, cool stuff it is heartfelt warm lyrics. I am excited to hear the actual song. pls. share it Sir Joe if you done. Thanks for sharing.

[Sir Joe]

Sure, Sir Marc. I'll be so glad to share it to all of you. =)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Thanks.

[Sir Joe]

You're welcome. =)