MASQUERADE PARTY

When life seems to be in a sick masquerade party.

To drink the potion of forgetfulness

Perhaps is my own way to never think

Of that so lovely face you so possess

That when I see, I fight the need to blink.

And when I crack a quip, you speak with wit

And some short giggle ruled by modesty;

Your speech is fine, it really does befit

What woman really is ideally.

If they can buy your grace through which you glow,

Expect a lot of heads to fall in line

In hopes your grace to them you will bestow

As if they're glasses waiting for some wine.

You give me hard time just to look away;

Remove your mask, enough now with the play!

Author's Note

This is my first ever Shakespearean sonnet.
Shakespearean sonnet is a fourteen-line poem in iambic pentameter composed of three quatrains followed by a couplet. The rhyme pattern is abab cdcd efef gg.
This is the form perfected by William Shakespeare.

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Hmnnn...something satirical. LOL

Glad you have that author's note...I don't have any idea that this is a sonnet since you didn't use the standard iambic pentameter in each line...but you did like how Shakespeare used "rhythmic variations" like "inversion" and "weak or feminine ending" in his plays and sonnets.


As to the topic (pretension, deception)...there are times we feel we are being deceived by some people. It's normal to feel like how you feel. But how true is that statement that "he who can determine a good play is a good actor"? LOL. Forgive me...I'm in the mood to joke. Hope you're in a good mood when you read this. :)

I remember someone who said these to me: "You don't have to explain everything about yourself to me. I don't believe each person must show everything just to be called real. There are things which should be kept personally and there are some which can be shown to the whole world." So this means everyone is possibly wearing his mask. Now, in your statement "Life isn't always a masquerade party", it already tells that sometimes there's a need to wear a mask...but it shouldn't be always. And I believe that nobody could wear his/her mask throughout the whole day or night or party...or he/she could be tasting his/her own sweat behind that mask before the day/night/party ends. LOL

The ending line shows that the voice is already pissed off watching the woman wearing the mask. Hope when he/she see the face behind the mask, he/she will be satisfied...or...be surprised. :)

Thank you for sharing this clever piece, SJ. :)

[Sir Joe]

Dhaye, thank you for the in-depth scrutiny of this poem. And yes, you're right in saying he who can determine a good play is a good actor. The proof is right here, writing this response. LOL. I admit, I am a good actor; both onstage and in real life. But much of that is not merely pretense but rather professionalism.

After writing the poem, I carefully checked if it really follows the consistency of the stressed-unstressed sequence of each pair of syllables. I must admit I was not able to perfect that. Writing a Shakespearean sonnet is indeed a very tough job. Yes, I was able to become consistent with the metric scheme of ten syllables per line, but I see it still doesn't flow in a consistent iambic manner.

I love your interpretation of the poem. Thank you so much, Dhaye!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Hey, I said you didn't follow the standard...BUT I reviewed it and I found out that you have followed rhythmic variations usually used by Shakespeare...so please don't bother yourself with that.
You know, while posting my comment, I prayed that you're in a good mood and my review won't lead to a discourse which I really avoid now. If it would happen, I would just delete my review. LOL.

You're welcome.

[Sir Joe]

Ah! Yes, the inversions. I admit there are some glitches in the iambic scheme of the lines. But sometimes, some lines are really not meant to be read in a ba-BOOM/ba-BOOm/ba-BOOM/ba-BOOM/ba-BOOM manner because of the inherent stress placement on certain words, especially on words containing more than two syllables. So inversions now come into place. (nakaisip palusot) hehe

I have no reason to be in a bad mood today because it is Tuesday, my favorite working day because it is only on Tuesdays when I get to teach literature, one of my favorite subjects. =)

[Babe Roxx]

Sir Joe...stunning Sonnet...I love the energy it brought me when reading your poem...electric with an alluring mystery within longing. Nicely done.

[Gleb Zavlanov]

This is such an amazing sonnet. It flows very nicely, the first quatrains are wonderfully written, and the volta bears a very powerful beauty. I also liked the very message of this poem. Deception, love and masks all fit remarkably well. And 'Masquerade Party'-such an intriguing title. Thank you for penning.

[Taylor Ramsey]

Okay, hi. I'm the ultimate lame girl who just pops in with a lame "wow". I...I will admit my eyes glazed over when I read your author's note because it just flew right over my head. I stuck with it through the "Shakespearean sonnet is a fourteen-line poem in iambic pentameter composed of...." and then a felt myself get tangled in, my beautifully phrased term, mumbo-jumbo.

Sorry, I simply couldn't just leave the page without one simple "wow" at least. I'm part of writer cafe.org so you'd think I could come up with some brilliant words to describe what I felt while reading this, but no. Of course not. (:

By the end you could just feel their frustration! You just want to see the person for who they are, no games. Anyhoot, just popped by to say spectacular job! Awkwardness complete.

[costa siwale]

Random review, a marvelous piece, well written

[John Ryan]

I really love how you took the challenge of trying to emulate the bard.

this satirical poem was a great read and i look forward to your future writing.

[Bluemerlin]

Very clear minded, unaffected writing, pleasant in its presentation and a dance in its rhythm. There is often a tendency with Shakespearean poetry to be overly simplistic (sort of ironic but there it is), and I feel like you did wonderfully at playing with words in a way that the classical demigod would have approved of. I am especially fond of the line of men like glasses waiting to be filled with the intoxicating distillation of this woman, brilliant feeling there.

I'm wondering about the second to last line. Someone in the comments mentioned weak or feminine endings, the mechanics of which are foreign to me, but perhaps it speaks to the almost clumsiness of the line? It seems like the concept was bent to fit the rhyme and rhythm in a way that doesn't seem up to par with the rest. Forgive me my ignorance, but it seems that way to me.

[Eddie M deadwolf]

Like this very much man, do not understand completely the hows and whys of what makes a sonnet a sonnet, but, you got good writin man, is a great love poem... Looked at it as a great lovers game, almost like two Sagittarius's playing together, playful an loving natured games people play:
"That when I see, I fight the need to blink." Man, That is a great line, could be in a song, could hear this sung, it has a blues rock song feel to me, at least how hear it in my head when readin it: Eddie / deadwolf

[PurpleQuartz]

I really love this! Fantastic write Sir Joe!

[Stefanie Holmes]

The flow of this piece is spot-on for me and the content is astounding. Your imagery and wording is perfect for what you were trying to convey. I've never been the type to dabble in different types and styles of poetry. I've always liked to just write what comes freely from myself and my heart, but I do like to read poetry in which the writer uses a particular style. I find it interesting and unique and I thought you did a wonderful job with it!

~Stefanie