Forbidden

First chapter and introduction. No title set as yet.

Someone has walked into my life and swooped me clean off my feet.. infatuation, love, lust or whatever you want to call it.. Im sprung..

Weve all heard it before right? Theyre so pretty and wonderful and say all the right things. You like it and you want more. The more they return those flirtatious gestures the more chance there is of lust turning to love. Youre falling and you know it.. But.. The question you ask yourself every day remains, Do they feel the same way about you? If they knew how you really felt would they run a mile? You know they feel something, you can see the fire and the passion within them. Holding long stares into eachothers eyes we attempt to read how they feel while fighting the hypnotic trance they throw us into. Our instincts rarely ever lie, yet we question them. Guess the only way to find out for sure is to open the gates of your heart. When the words "I Love You" glide off your tongue and between your lips in a moment of intimacy you fill with fear. If theyll repeat those words back to you then everything will change. Youre confident theyll say it back otherwise you wouldnt of opened yourself up for another bruising. 9 times out of 10 theyll say the words you long to hear.

From this point on, a new chapter begins. We change everything in our lives to be around them as much as we can, from our daily routines to the shifts we choose at work. Even our time for thoughts is now filled with them. Youre devoted to them and you pray theyre devoted to you. Each time you meet it gets deeper. We learn to trust and open our hearts up to them, if youve had heartache before these steps are cautious ones. If you go deep and its returned then the deeper you shall fall.

It stops there im afraid..
Well atleast, It does for me anyway.

Confused???

It goes further right? You talk about the future, go on holidays, meet the parents, friends and work colleagues.. Eventually move in together, get married, buy a dog and have children etc...

Well not for me...
Im in a different sort of situation to the usual and if you havent guessed it already.. Let me help you out.. She wears his ring..

Shes married..

Ive got to admit i feel as though ive become the person i used to mock. What man goes around sniffing at other mens wives? Let me assure you it isnt me, its the 1st time ive ever experienced anything like this before.

What should i do?

Oh i certainly dont need advice.

I should back off.

"Sort your issues out with him and try and make it work, if you cant then leave him, do it for you not for me and if im still around ill gladly make a future with you.."

So much easier said, than done.

You cannot pressure somebody into making a decision like that. If they leave their partners It has to be soley for them otherwise the pressure for things having to work eventually causes things not to. Once theyre single its a pressure free picking for them.. If they then decide to choose you, Great! However.. it has to be their decision, not yours.

Is it hard?? Very..! To most this wouldnt pass through their mind but the emotions you experience are so different to any other kind of relationship. Everytime she isnt with me and every night im in bed alone shes with him and its soul destroying. I dont even feel i have the right to say that.. Shes not my wife shes his.

Then theres the sneaking around which at first is fun, but once the love is there it soon fades. Sometimes she does or says something that blows me away and i wanna hold her and kiss her but prowling eyes around us stops me. He calls her phone when shes with me, Why wouldnt he? Of course i have to be quiet and it makes me frustrated. Dropping me off on street corners while she nips to see family members and certain friends because god forbid i should mess up the perfect life she already has. Im the dark secret, her shameful sin she cant let anybody know about. I sit and wonder whether she really has any intention of ever leaving him behind for me. Its made out as though her husband is 'the bees knees' to everyone that matters and if im caught in it all ill be known as 'the family wrecker'. Im going through every day hoping for those moments where all is forgotten and its about the 2 of us but those moments become rare more and more as time goes on and i fall deeper for her. A simple shopping trip is filled with phonecalls and texts from him and things hes asked her to buy while shes out.

What happens? I end up being unable to control the bitterness and let it ruin parts of our day. Im becoming someone i hate. Maybe this needs to end?

So why do i do it? Clearly this is going to end bad.. Well let me tell you why..

You havent met keeley..

I dont believe im a fool and yet for keeley i am. Ive been in love twice before and had 2 children with each of them. Of course it was great with them too, all the experiences i talked about earlier? They were both in that category however this lady is different. How often do you fall in love and realise shes your best friend too? Not only do i thank god for bringing her to me i ask him why hes given me something so amazing. The relationship i am in is so good i wonder what the hidden surprise is and how much its going to destroy me.
To say god would be decietful towards me is not where im going with this.

Is it a test is what i mean..? 'Resist thy temptation'..

Afterall she is married. Arent i aiding and betting in the breaking of her vows? Vows she made in gods house. Could it be he feels i deserve to be happy and decided to answer my prayers? I hope it is because as wrong as it feels at times, I dont think i could ever let her go.. ever.

Keeley is my match.. my family will adore her. Friends will accept her and my life will fit around her. She loves me for me so i dont feel the need to be anyone else. Im recently unemployed and it does not faze her what so ever. She makes me feel like the only man in the world.. She loves being around me and any favor i need shes offered before ive asked. She turns up in the mornings looking fantastic with a coffee for me. A single smile from her has the power to make me skip precious heartbeats.

Keeley's been able to finish my sentences with remarkable precision since day 1 and it happens multiple times in a day. I honestly look around in amazement.. She has the same outlook on life as i do and will come out with ideas as though shes studied me. Keeley has an ora about her, step within 5 metres of her and depression and stress dont exist anymore. The lady is adored, admired and envied by many for having the happy go lucky view of life and pulling it off with astonishing perfection. The thing is it actually works if youre capable of letting it. Phrases like "If you dont laugh youll cry" and remarks like "Wear bright colours and itll cheer you up!"

Dumb bimbo??

Not this one. Very clever and very independant. Keeley is a Care worker Supervisor, her paperwork is enough to put me off yet she seems to sail through it. She does this as well as juggling her 2 year old son and her homelife around to make atleast a few hours a day for me. She arrives cheerful every time without fail no matter what kind of day shes having.

It amazes me how her husband has lost sight of what he has. To me hes been blessed with an angel from above, so blessed infact hes taken her for granted. Keeley tells me of her husband, her unhappiness and her loss of passion for him. She will always love him as the father of her son she says but shes not 'in love' with him anymore. Keeley has on multiple occasions asked him to leave, saying that she doesnt love him and told him shes no longer happy. He shrugs this off and tells her theyll be fine and they can work things out. This i can accept and hand on heart as much as it would hurt to lose her id wish her the best of luck. However the astonishing part is he doesnt change atall, he continues to embarrass her infront of her friends and family by belittling her. He treats her like his dog. Asking her if tea is on, to get him cans of beer so he can watch the football and also watch keeley run around after their son before she needs to do a long shift at work. He tells her what she can and cant wear, whether she can have tattoos or piercings and hides things from her that he doesnt like her having. Keeley hasnt slept with him for months so instead of fixing the relationship he hides her sex toys instead. Clearly a man who hasnt fished in the ocean and seen how lucky he is. Keeley is a rare catch.

Louis.. Keeleys 2 year old son. Now normaly im a bit of a stickler when it comes to anyone elses kids apart from my own yet louis stole me from the word go.

I used to wonder whether it was possible for anyone else to really love your children or for you to love theirs. Id cry to my parents telling them how much i want to settle down, how id never get that life again because and i quote..

'What woman is gunna want to settle down with me when ive got 2 children with one woman and 2 with another?'

Then my mum would say "If the woman loves you truly then shell love your children aswell and vice versa". I never thought it possible but mums are always right in the end and louis was no exception. This little man is a blessing to anyone who meets him. Hes extremely clever for a boy of his age, his talking is fantastic and sometimes keeley can find herself having full blown debates with him. Lest we not forget, Children of his age soak up everything around them and are on a high learning curve. Who feeds this crazy little guy with directions to life? Well its keeley of course. an amazing job if you ask me to create a child as gorgeous, humuorous and as intelligent as louis. For instance he doesnt just learn a word, he then instantly continues to use it in the correct context aswell. His new word 'berk!' Which of course came from his mother is instantly put in his sentences. "No mummy! Play in my sand!.......Berk!!" Hilarious little boy and like his mother he uses his face to show emotions. When hes annoyed hell shout "Right!" with his hands on his hips and a serious 'youre in trouble' look upon his face.

At the house i live in with 2 old school friends they kept hens in the back garden. He immediatly used the word hen to explain to keeley where it was he wanted to go that day. I feel honoured hed gave me a nickname and even more that he wants to see me as much as he does. All i hear is "hen" and of course this nickname has come useful for keeley to hide me away from friends and family. If he mentions it she just tells them theyd been to see some hens at a friends house.

I dont know what sort of impression you have of me but i guess the only way to defend my ways is to give you the story from the beginning...

Author's Note

Ignore spelling and grammar please. Id like to hear storyline reviews only.

Reviews

[Mona]

If this is not a real life story, it sure sounds like one. I see this often on a free advice column online where I am one of their columnists. I myself was the wife mistreated verbally and emotionally, not loved in first marriage and stuck with it way too long. You are right that no one can help her to make a choice, she has to come to that herself and in a situation of no love, that's one thing but when there is verbal abuse or more, it becomes even harder. But there is hope, I eventually left the 1st husband when my kids where out of the house and found the love of my life. Good expression of words so that others who have never experienced this get a feeling of what it's like to be in such a life.

[Shadows Ember]

This is amazing in every sense of the word. I would love to read more. I only suggest that you make the font larger. It may just be me but it hurts my eyes trying to read this.

[fleamailman]

("...on a practical note though I simply suggest putting the comments in brackets, leaving the text outside, that way the reader won't get confused between the two seeing that you are writing in first the both there..." went the goblin wanting more it seemed, then smiling "...naah, I'm the wrong one to review anything but you could try reading it aloud to yourself, why, because many a reader does just that then, meaning that they invent a matching voice in their mind for your text, where if it isn't fluid to the readers in its reading aloud it will lose them I guess...", meanwhile the goblin would be where he could be found if need be, confiding "...humans are odd, they ask me to review something and then disapprove of me when I do, but all is not lost for I imagine that you didn't want to write like a goblin anyway...")

[jade162]

I liked the story line so far, and I'd be interested in reading more. Of course, grammar could be fixed, but that's not as big of a deal. I also enjoyed the picture I was given from the words you've chosen. :] Keep writing!