Real/Famous

Real/Famous

A Poem by Jon Gary Frost
"

a poem about true love

"

 I long for my Maria, my Juliette to hold.

 

There’s so much I’ve not done yet, and I’m feeling rather old.

 

My Isolde, my Helena, my Penelope or Heloise.

 

I look upon my life and I find not one of these.

 

I admit the names above required just a tad research,

 

and I see what I’ve requested in my recent Google search.

 

More than 40 million options under “famous stories love”.

 

Seems I need to make some changes to the search words from above.

 

I admit the recognition and the irony I feel,

 

not one name above is mentioned when I change “famous” to “real”.

 

© 2009 Jon Gary Frost


Author's Note

Jon Gary Frost
It is difficult for me to be objective on this one.....is this cheesy?????

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Reviews

No, it's not cheesy! At least I dont think so. It was kind of a kick in the stomach once you get to the last line. I thought it was very well done!

Posted 14 Years Ago


I've read through all your posted poems. I admire anyone who attempts this form. I'm not an avid poetry reader, but there are some things I like to find when I do. Rhythm is very important to me. This poem was a well-worked out thought, but I think it needs some refinement of rhythm, particularly if you're going to use rhyming couplets. It was a bit choppy to me, and I kept putting the syllabic emphasis in the wrong place and screwing up the count. The phrasing felt forced in some places to keep the rhyme.

I think poetry is tough. Finding words which naturally flow together is a true art, if not a gift.



Posted 14 Years Ago


I think it's quite the opposite of cheesy - it's a unique take on a theme that can lean toward cheesy. It's not stiff or forced, even though the rhyme scheme can sometimes do that.

You used the rhyme scheme well. I liked it very much.




Posted 14 Years Ago



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167 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 22, 2009
Last Updated on June 23, 2009

Author

Jon Gary Frost
Jon Gary Frost

Nashville, TN



About
15 years of writer's block later, I'm back at it. I look forward to any and all feedback, but.....please critique my work on it's merit. If you disagree with an underlying message or opinion, that.. more..

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