"Broken Trust with a Thank You"

This poem is for the one who broke me down, only to have me become built even stronger. Thank you, you a*****e. (Kind of lengthy.)

Broken Trust with a Thank You

 

 

I gave you all

that I had to offer.

 

I gave you

My love.

My attention.

 

My trust.

 

My trust.

 

I trusted you enough

To give you the responsibility

Of holding and protecting

My heart.

 

Was I a little careless?

Maybe.

Was I cautious?

Yes.

 

Isn’t that how the mixture

Is suppose to be when you love

For the first time?

 

I trusted you when you told me

That sickly sweet sentence

As it bubbled over your tongue

And broke open my rib cage,

Leaving in its wake an exposed

And trusting

Heart.

 

I trusted you when you

Promised

That you had meant it.

 

That you felt it.

 

That you waited before you

Told me, just so you were

Sure.

 

I trusted you for almost

A year.

 

A year, that didn’t mean

Anything to you.

 

That moment.

That unforgivingly painful moment

When you told me the

Horrendous truth.

 

I felt that exposed heart crumble.

 

That heart that you promised to

Protect

As soon as you said

“I love you”

For the first time.

 

You had lied.

 

Said that you

Never

Meant it.

 

Never

Felt it.

 

I was your

Cruel experiment.

 

Your toy.

 

Your joke.

 

Yes,

You found it quite funny

After you took your

Sledgehammer and pounded

It against my porcelain

Heart,

Shattering it into a

Million of fractured pieces.

 

What was it that you said?

 

What were you

Telling people once they

Found out we

Were separated?

 

Oh yes,

That I was just

Too affectionate.

 

Too vulnerable.

 

That I was

The bad guy

And you

Were the victim.

 

And everyone else

Trusted you too.

 

Believed you just as I had

Once upon a time.

 

Is my heart still

Hung up on you?

No, absolutely not.

 

Why am I talking about this

You ask?

Well, I am still breathing

In the aftermath of your

Game.

 

Since you took

The pleasure

In holding my heart in

Your hands

And crushing it without

Any remorse,

My trust became broken.

 

I couldn’t trust

You.

 

I couldn’t trust

Another

After you.

 

I waited

Years

Before I fell in love

Again.

 

However,

Traces of your

Actions linger.

 

Not once did I have to

Ask

If we were okay.

 

Not once did I have to

Doubt

If I was being

A good partner

For you.

 

Not once did I ever

Question

Is this too much love?

When I was

With you.

 

And today?

Well, I have a partner

Who is so much more

Of a man

Than you ever will be.

 

It took longer

For me to trust him.

 

Thank you.

 

It took longer

For me to tell him

“I love you too”.

 

Thank you.

 

It took longer

For me to feel safe with him.

 

Thank you.

 

Thank you,

For making me have to

Continuously ask

“Are we okay?”

“Did I kiss you too much?”

“Am I too clingy?”

“Am I annoying?”

 

Thank you,

For making me have to take

Ten baby steps

Rather than Five large ones

In order to feel protected

By myself before

I let him

Take some of the lead.

 

These are not

Sarcastic thank you’s.

 

Unlike one of us,

I know how to tell the truth.

 

These are sincere.

 

If it were not for you

Breaking my trust

I would not have been so

Careful.

 

I would not have been so

Worried.

 

I would not have been so

Protective

Of myself.

 

If it were not for you

Being the complete

A*****e

That you are,

I wouldn’t have found

My better half.

 

The one I truly

Needed.

 

The one who truly

Loves me.

 

The one who is truly

“The one”.

 

I thought that I

Loved you.

 

I thought that I

Would never get

Over you.

 

But in reality?

 

You’re the one

Who woke me up

To what I really

Deserved.

 

So, with this

Broken trust that is

Slowly

Finding its way to

Stitch itself

Back together,

Thank you.

 

Thank you for

Breaking me,

So I could become

A better

Whole.

Author's Note

This poem really came from the depths of my heart, and I pulled every emotion I had for this one. I apologize if my few curse words offend anyone, but I needed to use them in this work. Any suggestions or thoughts will be greatly appreciated, Thank you!

Reviews

[Kay]

This is a really strong piece...and honestly, it hits really close to home for me. It sounds like we had similar experiences with our first. It's funny because it can take so long to trust again after being in a bad relationship and yet when you're finally able to trust again, you see the world and yourself in so much greater detail. Slow and steady wins the race, as they say.

Anyways, I digress. This piece is great!

[Jenaynayness]

Thank you so much, I'm glad you find this piece real and relatable, but I do apologize for your past experience. Thank you so much for the review!

[alanwgraham]

Yes - this is a heartfelt story that I think many of your readers will relate to. Love is a mysterious thing and defies logic. When you are immersed in this breaking up it seems like the end has come but your final verse shows that we can eventually make some sense of it.
Well done for sharing this Jenny.
regards
Alan

[Jenaynayness]

I was trying my best to express the realness of my past experience. I am glad you enjoyed it, thank you for your review!

[JO]

I really did love it! Beautiful poem that really shows your emotions