breakdown

11/2013

it pushes

                                                 it pulls

shifting in and out of the shadows

the ceiling fan whirls above

holding me in place

                            stuck to the floor

I am swept deeper into the black hole

               that has formed in my heart

it whispers

                                                 it screams

my name inside out and far away

                        I'm scared..

the darkness that plagues my thoughts

extends through my sight, you see

       reshaping my reality

                       before mowing it down

Author's Note

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see depression here also...again i see how relationships have hurt this speaker...and how even when he tries to bounce back, rebuild his life, maybe even love again...he comes to expect that he will be mowed down like a blade of grass...there is such vulnerability expressed here...

[joshua deathdealer]

A very insightful and dead on review. Thank you.

[Neon]

I got the theme of the piece ... wonderful write. Relationship, depressions, pain and ache everything's penned into the poem. Nice work, by the way, i loved the title... you should write something more on the same title. Great job.

[Joiedevivre]

moving and heart wrenching, i know that place you speak of...

[Ruth]

And so we keep getting back up only for the flow to knock us back down again...how we perceive that is unique, there is strength amongst the dark here xx

[David Scott]

This sounds like acute depression. You have either lived this or are living it to write it so well.
The light in all of this is the last line. You seem to realize it is the darkness you can choose to trim away like cutting an overgrown lawn.
I could also read this as the darkness still given the power to mow down your actually much brighter reality. Still, the voice here sees the reality is something better than the darkness. The voice here know to fear the darkness enough to give it space and respect.
This way of thinking and feeling can actually become addictive self inflicted pain. It assures us we live if we hurt. Just like pleasures help us cope, so can pain...
Balance I think Josh. Like the fan blades above spinning as a circle representing opposing emotion and imaginations and thought.
You have a "heavy" pen. Good work.

[Pax]

I say this to myself, darkness is just corners away inside my mind. Darkness will eat us if you don't handle it well. Very expressive piece you have here mr. Josh.

[joshua deathdealer]

Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to review. This is my way to release.

[Pax]

Writing it down is a good release, Sometimes I do it too. keep penning and its a pleasure to come by here.. most welcome!

[Aaron the Baron]

Wow this is great. I love the layout, it fits with the kind of schizophrenia embedded in this piece.

the darkness that plagues my thoughts
extends through my sight, you see

reshaping my reality love this especially

[joshua deathdealer]

Wow, just fantastic dear, I feel you in this one, so so good!!!! the dark, and "you" in this piece totally, I felt I was a witness of it, all, standing here, and watch you or the persona, as an out-of-a-body-experience, rising, up, then down, to the ground... terribly good, this one is. It speaks of courage, and power, to write, and to bring out in such perfect dark wording. Goosebumps, (not many can give me).
Thanks my dear.

- Elisa

[joshua deathdealer]

Thank you dear. It was pretty intense writing this one and the one I'm working on now. I don't know where it's coming from but i know it's always best to get it out. Thank you as always for your insightful reviews! Joshua

You should let them always out, you're master in those... you're so welcome dear, I'm a fan of your art. This one I felt so deelply! (maybe cause I felt darker too lately)... you're always so welcome sweet friend xoxo

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Everyone has darkness that clouds there heart. Sometimes people just take it to far..and it hurts when they do something they shouldn't. You did a great job expressing yourself within this piece. I enjoyed it. I know there is darkness clouding my heart too. Thank you for sharing.