left behind

06/2012

yea it's okay

         she has just 

lost her way

          while I've been

searching for the 

           most unseen

 

I've been embracing

           tragedy and many pains

from many things that

            we can't conquer

one lie after another

            never a moment

of solid ground

            nor contentment 

inside out I stood

            in the devouring

flame as she fell 

upside down

             like everything

around her  

             slowly to her death

taking her love

            away from me

so very

           far away 

from me

Reviews

[Harlon Rivers]

Ouch...if I didn't have such a good memory this poem might not hit me at such an emotional level...This form is new in your writing, at least to me and I like it. The drum beat in the song reminds me a bit of the form, in a good way.
You always seem to nail your emotions with lyrics and phrasing that draws in the reader even though the emotions are dark...Nicely done Joshua

[Enigmatic Soul]

There is a sense of paralysis and pain mixed with helpless acceptance of whatever has occurred. It is sorrowful and one can relate to the emotion in many ways. Well written and structured. Keep it up.

[Priyankaabhilaashi]

Great job..!!!

[Rusty]

Your imagery must need its own house in your head. I hope it is well carpeted and furnished.

[Amenti Amaris Raven]

I love this!! I especially love the way you formatted it! The line breaks are interesting, and I like how you worked with the font to emphasize certain words. The music does indeed add to the effect. Awesome!!!

[BreeBree1983]

Heartbreaking and beautiful..

[Robbie]

I love this sad, dark, and dramatic piece. I can feel the bottom drop from under me as I read this. It had a spiraling effect...emotions spiraling down. Excellent write.
The song is awesome, lending a melancholy tone to your art. Nicely done.

[Veronica Chandler]

Haunting piece; written so well I am bathed in the pain. "...So very far away from me." The words hit hard, and the tunes added to the haunting.

[Dearantlers]

Very good! Very well written, and beautiful. I loved how you bolded some words. that just seemed to add to the poem. Great job!

[Cheyenne Harris]

It's so sad, but beautiful at the same time. It's very touching. A wonderful poem.

[Rene Velez]

sorry I took a while to review, but things have been crazy, and I won't read if it doesn't get my full attention Josh, this is a great one, I've seen a lot of growth in your work lately, I love watching...better yet reading a writer grow, good work man, keep digging...