Every Day Human Experience

I’m living with hate, without love

Don’t know what’s true, feel I can’t shake it

What do I do, I don’t want to shove in the direction of sadness

My children are my blood, don’t want to leave them

Am I selfish, am I righteous

What do I do, can I bring it into fruition

Loving, not loving

Sadness, can’t be sad, Because I’m told so

Can’t be happy, not in the cards

Don’t know what to do, just want to go

Can’t leave lovely children, scared behind the guards

Our lives are so full of s##t that I don’t know what’s real

We live too much to the fullest with a lowly income

Fighting for Americans is all too easy, bringing terrorists to justice fills our meal

The feeling of patriotism that once flooded through my veins

Has now become a lazy human collaboration with heavily misunderstood honor

How do I see it

Sadness, can’t be sad, Because I’m told so

Can’t be happy, not in the cards

Don’t know what to do, just want to go

Wish it was understood honor is lost

The grass is greener on the other side, but it’s mostly the same

Been thrown back in it misunderstood with a second similar cause

Different location dying, slowly facing a similar game

Swayed by desire and dislocation, feeling a sense of discontentment and ridicule

Lame is my name and I’ll hear it again, everyone understands but it stays the same

Sadness, can’t be sad, because I’m told so

Can’t be happy, not in the cards

Don’t know what to do, just want to go

Wish I understood the resentment bestowed

Nothing ever makes sense

No one is ever clear

Don’t know what to do

Fade away…

Author's Note

The first part is about thinking about divorce
The second part is about my decade of military service
The third part is about what I did after active military service
If you were unsure.