Who calls the time?

Since I have already started to rant,

 I might as well share all of the emotions.

This is a messy time for me.

I have dealt with over thirty years of this

I shouldn't have been the one calling the time on my dad.

Year earlier,

 it was my stepdad.

I go back far enough,

  and I remember the blue toes of a friend's father.

I hate this month.