" Veramooney "

Longing for night, when the worlds' dark and slow.

Why she feels she must roam, she truly does not know.

Wanting so to resist, yet gives in to the pain.

Preparing to go, she steps out into the rain.

She knows what she needs, and that she must try.

Her tears flowing freely, while searching the sky.

Wondering why she wants this, when no other would.

Never stopping her search, always wishing she could.

Feeling so tired, still compelled to go on.

Continuing  the search until the first sign of dawn...

                                      JAM

Reviews

[Cathy Wattam]

I like your style of writing, full of depth and emotion. I also love the title.

My only small issues would be:-
(1) "when the worlds' dark and slow." - unless you are talking about more than one world, it should say "when the world's dark and slow.".
(2) "Preparing to go, she steps out into the rain." - might flow better if it was "Preparing to go, she steps out in the rain."

These are minor issues and only my opinion. I did enjoy the poem and look forward to reading more like this!

[Raven Starhawk]

First of all I love the rhyming. ^^* When she steps out into the rain while crying I couldn't help but think of myself. But anyway aside from my rambling... "Feeling so tired" was a line too that stood out for me. It is like even though she is emotionally frazzled and longing she continues regardless.

[Patrick]

such a sad piece with a lovely form to it. Provoke a lot of thoughts and concerns for those concerned

[EileenMarie]

I really like this! It flows nicely........ very deep! Excellent poem

[mark slade]

You have a great style. Kind of reminds me of Dylan Thomas.

[judith106]

I will be honest I did not know who Dylan Thomas was but have since read some of his work...thank you