The way I feel

I want to be the feeling you get when you listen to Ed Sheeran 

Or when the summertime sun kisses your skin without the air sweating all over you

That smell of dirt that makes you think of childhood overalls

Instead I've been feeling like a head congested

When you're afraid to pop your ears

And you still can't breathe

Like the void you'll stare into at night

At 3 a.m. 

contemplating why your not doing something else

If I could I would never try to feel like the time

We drove two hours to the state next door

And the hot air balloons were on the grass

But some things can't be helped

Like my cheeks that are still sensitive to frost bite

Because of the first time they were frozen

I guess I'd take a hint at some point

like when my brother took my gameboy advance to school

and lost it in the halls

I can't be everything

But if I could

I'd be perfect for you

I'd be that obnoxiously pink Chinese food restaurant

You have told me about a million times

And seem to love so much

I'd be warm towels fresh out of the dryer

and mom humming as she folds

and wraps you in one.

I'd be the moment when you wash purple dye out of your hair

And the purple glides down your shoulders

And turns you into a lavender work of art

But I'm the moment the water runs clear

The purple stained shower curtain

and the color down the drain

I'm just a rock

kicked by sketchers sneakers

Into a drainage gate