Once upon a time

Once upon a time

A Poem by yashmita13
"

they told her fairy-tales come true.they told her happy endings.so she tried.but no-our world is not a fairy-tale.it ins't perfect.they told her only princesses can be happy.so she tried to be one.

"
once upon a time
there was a girl
who lived in a tower
which she herself had to climb
no prince to save her
and she had no superpower
hair in a messy bun
accompanied by a sweatshirt
dark patches under her eyes
you could see that she was hurt
no bills to cover up her wounds
just ordinary dirt
no tiara on her head 
for once she did flirt
but she never wanted to be
trapped in his bed
tears down her face
which she herself had to wipe
no lace left on her dress
no one saw her load and snipe

© 2014 yashmita13


Author's Note

yashmita13
they killed her.

My Review

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Featured Review

Awesome writing about the malevolent expectations of society for girls about romance and the unrealstic nature of thinking happy endings are a sure thing. I like it lol and im a guy.

Rhythm is a little strange at some points. Try to make most lines fit together more cohesively to make the fluency better. This will make it easier to read and more memorable.
ex: accompanied by a sweatshirt/ dark patches under her eyes/you could see that she was hurt

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

9 Years Ago

thanks for the feedback
glad you enjoyed it
i will work on it



Reviews

In the myths and the pain, your words weave a fairy tale into the real world all around us...

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

9 Years Ago

thanks for reading!
Wow, this is brilliantly well describe and written.

Kaze~

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

9 Years Ago

thank you so much
♔ CrownedDevil ☾

9 Years Ago

Your very welcome. :-)
We are surrounded by the pressure to find fulfilment throughout romantic love and it rarely happens. Great write, yashmita:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

9 Years Ago

thanks a lot for reading! it means the world
How can any person have a "review" mindset in reading this ? It would seem so pathetically simple-minded to think of this in any technical sense.....this comes through as a genuine, heartwrenching plea and statement. That in itself is all that needs to be acknowledged and heard.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful. Like all of your works, beautiful. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

9 Years Ago

thanks a lot for reading!

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Added on November 20, 2014
Last Updated on November 28, 2014

Author

yashmita13
yashmita13

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A system takes care of the detail work for you, freeing up your time and your mind so you can focus on activities that Generate Income. The last thing you need to worry about is all the detail work of.. more..

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