ill make sure you remember me

ill make sure you remember me

A Story by yashmita13
"

when you hate someone so much that you love them even more

"
you shot me down
i fell on the ground
my heart wouldn't pound
baby

you buried me there
so no one would know where
and you didn't even care
baby

but now that I'm back
and you've made that anger crack
so you better start to pack
baby


ill burn your skin 
ill rip your soul
ill make you drown 
in your own black hole

but all i ever want
is to make sure 
that you remember me
baby




© 2014 yashmita13



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Featured Review

This is very good story. Bad tale turn to revenge of a sort.
" but all i ever want
is to make sure
that you remember me
baby"
very nice ending. I liked it. The story had the feel of song. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

2 Years Ago

i unconsciously wrote it like that and realised later the point about that song. haha thanx
Coyote Poetry

2 Years Ago

You are welcome.



Reviews

LOVED IT! The second to last stanza was captivating and I would even say that it's the main reason why I liked the poem so much. And I really liked the repetition of "baby" at the end of each stanza. However, take the time to pick and choose where you rhyme, because it can diminish the character if your work if used incorrectly or at the wrong time.

Posted 1 Year Ago


nice flow yashmita. loved it :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

2 Years Ago

thanks a lot
This is very good story. Bad tale turn to revenge of a sort.
" but all i ever want
is to make sure
that you remember me
baby"
very nice ending. I liked it. The story had the feel of song. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

2 Years Ago

i unconsciously wrote it like that and realised later the point about that song. haha thanx
Coyote Poetry

2 Years Ago

You are welcome.
awesome and great poem....... wonderful concept good job

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

2 Years Ago

thank you so much :D
Wow...... that was...... Amazing! I love it!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

2 Years Ago

thank you.
I adore the sudden change in the 3rd stanza lol. its like woah that escalated but very talented transition. I really like the concept of being remembered. That is a reoccurring desire for all of us. Dont forget my review baby :p

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

2 Years Ago

ill never forget it
baby
thanx for reviewing though
Astonishing read!! I don't say that to all the writes but this one possibly deserves it!! That's a sheer talent to make something as simple, so exciting. Adding 'baby' to every para's end did the trick for me. You make it sound sad yet sexy!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great poem, you can def feel your emotion through it!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

3 Years Ago

yay! thank you
you buried me there
so no one would know where
and you didn't even care.

So danger you are, but when you say
make sure
that you remember me,
that all the end. Great as a thinker.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yashmita13

3 Years Ago

thank you so much
i know i can be a little brutal sometimes

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Added on November 24, 2014
Last Updated on November 24, 2014

Author

yashmita13
yashmita13

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A system takes care of the detail work for you, freeing up your time and your mind so you can focus on activities that Generate Income. The last thing you need to worry about is all the detail work of.. more..

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