The Tattoo

spaced out

I had this desire, to do something new

Something I always wanted to do

That was to go get a tattoo

It was certainly well overdue

 

I picked a design and asked, “How much?”

A reply so outrageous, I needed a crutch

With that sort of money I was out of touch

So I put it in gear and let out the clutch

 

I pointed my ride down toward the sea

To an outdoor café where I sipped a coffee

Back in a chair feeling extra lazy

I realized that a tattoo was just not for me

 

I looked in the paper, under the classified

A position there, which I quickly spied

It was an offer to take a very long ride

So leaving the beach, I went and applied

 

I was asked to fill out a long questionnaire

Then to a barber who shaved off my hair

Loyalty to my country then I did swear

And was given, a uniform to wear

 

Blindfolded, I was walked across the tarmac

Where I was going, I couldn’t keep track

Not only that but I’d had no time to pack

And I had this feeling, I wouldn’t be back

 

I climbed 200 stairs, in my blindfold

Then climbed through, a very small hold

All the people waving, were my last sight

As my space ship left for a intergalactic flight

 

Mars is a nice place for my own aerodrome

Where I’m cozy alone in a geodesic dome

I have to be dressed in a spacesuit to roam

I’m much more inclined to just chill out at home

 

Coffee each morning as I rise and shine

The lovely sky is pure red all the time

There are six seasons, each one so sublime

And tho’ nothing to buy, I get paid all the time

 

A little Martian Bobblehead comes round every day

Wants me to come outside and play

This time it has brought a lovely bouquet

But our relationship is still day to day

 

I have had thoughts about returning to Earth

But I am now restricted by my increasing girth

On a return flight I couldn’t squeeze into a berth

Besides, staying here increases my financial worth

 

I still have that yen to do something new

And there is a Martian here who will do a tattoo

About the price, we didn’t argue

I simply agreed to an intergalactic TV interview

 

Author's Note

To be aired on MTV