Haeritage

Another songlyric, yeah I know it starts to become boring haha. Anyway, it's about me and my very dear group of friend growing up and going all our own ways. Hope you enjoy. Sincerely yours, Jules.

In a little farmers town there is a humid room in shimmering twilight
Where some years ago young deer met, together searching for possibilities
Flocking and mocking their way through school with misplaced freight
and together hunting options and idea’s to survive naivety

And thus we discussed what choices we must make in live
So divers, so different, so unique, so collective
Warm cosy television nights, abruptly ruined
due to an unknowing spoiling brat who couldn’t stay tuned

Soon we will be, but secretly we already
are teachers and lawyers
We are doctors and soldiers
We are builders and historians
We are biologists and artists
We are sportsmen and couchmen 
We are conflicts and relations
We are simple and complex
Because live is about dynamics!

We built a house on the grass and a river flowing near it and me
There are plastic tents and moss covered trees feeling free
Empty bottles everywhere and fire and alcohol keeping us warm
And so those differences quietly disappear in the murmuring charm
 
Yet that Monday after, but secretly we already
are lawyers and teachers
We are doctors and soldiers
We are builders and historians
We are biologists and artists
We are sportsmen and couchmen 
We are conflicts and relations
We are simple and complex
Because live is about dynamics!

For,
We are lawyers and teachers
We are doctors and soldiers
We are builders and historians
We are biologists and artists
We are sportsmen and couchmen 
We are righteous and drunk
We are pagan and the angel
Because our live is our Haeritage!

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

You know, Jules, I quite like this, but then I like the obscure and abstract. One thing is and it's not a big thing, just spelling issues but,
And thus we discussed what choices we must make in live (life)
So divers (diverse), so different, so unique, so collective

All in all, a good write.

[Dust That Drifts Throug..]

This sounds like you on the track of something novel material.

[JayG]

You have a situation in your mind, and the writing is about it. That works for you as you read because you know two critical things the reader doesn't.

First, you know what's going on and what led to it. And second, you have an intended meaning for each line.

But that meaning comes from the knowledge in your mind, filling in the blanks.

But where does that leave me? As everyone knows, my mind is empty. So when you say, "due to an unknowing spoiling brat who couldn’t stay tuned" what can it mean. Something happened, but-you-never-say-what. So the people in the meeting are upset but the reader/listener is lost.

Yes, in context and with the music, it might fit perfectly. But that's, to a great extent, a matter of performance. And not even melody reaches the page.

There, I look at "plastic tents," and say, What in the hell is he talking about? Tents aren't plastic.

Sorry.

[junXion]

Don't be ever sorry about any review your write, that's a first, NEVER!!! EVER!!! As for explanation, I have the urge, the meaning of leaving the reader a bit uninformed. It's a personal story to tell and the fact that you (as inclined by your review) want more information, is telling me the poem succeded! I hope you're not too mad about it, but your review is a perfect respons to that what I'm asking for. Thank you so much, Sincerely yours, Jules.