Trigger

I don't want the sun to beat down on my face today.

The sun makes me want to run carefree and wild.

The sun calls me.

 

I don't want to hear my favorite loud music today.

The loud music makes me act like a headstrong child.

The loud music coaxes me.

 

I don't want to experience the smell of smoke today.

The smoke makes me want to socialize.

The smoke engulfs me.

 

I don't want to see any homeless people today.

The homeless people make me want to empathize.

The homeless people partake with me.

 

I don't want to taste the metallic taste today.

The metallic taste makes me want to taste it again.

The metallic taste fills me.

 

I don't want to see old "friends" today.

The old friends make me want to re-live my sin.

 The old "friends" persuade me.

 

Today just isn't my day to face -

 

the trigger.

 

I'm taking out the bullets so I won't pull -

 

the trigger.

 

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

This is a very powerful poem in my opinion.
I like the things you say you don't want to do today and the whys..
The ending is sad in knowing someone was thinking of pulling a trigger, yet that day took the bullets out.
This is really good writing.

Chloe
xoxo

[Kari]

...

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

very good. i really like your titles, first of all, they pull me in. also, you have a very distinct and unique style to your poems. this one uses a image; a gun's trigger to represent all the challenges the day my face. i like this.

[Mr. Lopez]

I like the way you admit your weakness 's and their "triggers". To face the realities of your sin ,to remember the smell and the taste. This will only keep you on the straight and narrow . On track so to speak . Never forget , as painful as it may be , why you are on the track that you are. Friends don't pursuade but build you up , to the tops of the mountains . And in doing so will bring you closer to God. Very personal and well recieved by this "friend"Great job.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

very interesting. a nice new take on the old i want to kill myself thing.
I think you wrote it quite well, and i appreciate it for what it is.
You have pulled it off nicely and i like the why and wherefores of the why you do not want to be around that day
i am glad that you have apparantly moved past all of that.
Life is a struggle as jethro tull said
lets bungle in the jungle..lol
like frank zappa said
ain't nothing worse than a suicide chump so just make sure you get it right if you do it..lol
that is supposed to be a funny
well to me it is anyway

Amazing!! Loved it!!

[Poetry dances]

How good is this! I loved it- the way you structured each stanza - the word play right through to the ending- top notch stuff and so unique~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tony

[Jason]

Well done. The metallic taste, good imagery. I am reminded of an Alice in Chains lyric "A stinging pistol, in my mouth, on my tongue..." profound, scary and sad. Well written indeed.

[J.P.O.et]

I know the metallic taste and can sympathize with this
Ironic how such a taste can be desired. This is a great poem
about staying away from those things that always draw us back in,
'old friends', friends indeed,eh. The thing that got me was the first verse.
Even 'The sun calls' you, that is a strong feeling, and I feel it too at times
Sorry I didn't return your read sooner, just missed it or something, I will check more
J.P.O.et

[Miss Suicide]

I agree with Chloe 100%. BPD brings out a lot of writing. It's interesting to see the contrast between poems written at the highs and the lows.
Nicely done.

[Nico]

I loved this..and I'm glad the bullets were taking out:)