Pieces of Me

FREE WRITE

Removing layers from my feelings,
I unveil underlying emotion
by unmasking my vulnerabilities.

When trust seems as rare as devotion,
have mercy on my cynical thoughts.

Each need for approval
opens cruel, seeping wounds.

Right to the core of the matter,
locked inside the beautiful part -
my illusions are painfully shattered.

At the point where discovery must start;
hidden in the secret wells of emotion;
buried deep inside my yearning heart;
dwells unfeigned love which transforms me.

But love never seems enough.

Sometimes I am too tender,
Sometimes I am too tough.

If I get too much attention,
feelings are hard to overrule.

So often my fragile power
turns to scorn and ridicule.

Reviews

[Healing Star]

This is work, this removing the layers.
It is like the rings of an onion, pealing each layer,
delicately pealing each layer. removing the effects of
experiences, some of them overwhelming with
emotion, the capturing of our pain and sorrows.
And as we unfold them that emotion comes rushing
out, but we must let it rush out not keep it in. Let it
go once uncovered let it flow out of us, it will free us.
And then we are making room for the new, welcoming
the new. As we gain more understanding we can keep
ourselves balanced, and with our growth we can realize our
power is not so fragile, and with our understanding we won't turn to scorn and ridicule because it was our ignorance that caused this, our insecurity. But now in our new power we have new wisdom to rise above.
There is no longer need for approval, because you know within you approve of you and that is the only thing that matters.
See it is about illusions being joyfully shattered, the illusion is the problem, there is no pain is illusion being shattered.
and now you know love is always enough, for love is all there is.

Thank you for this poem, made me think and it shows me how much you have grown, since this was written, do you See?

[Distant horizons]

Pieces of you so wonderfully described. The layers numerous and unque to every individual, emotions so wonderfully expressed. And such a wonderful ending. Raw, honest and wonderfully penned.

[Wolfwind]

This was a good flow of thought. It spoke to me of the "Ergh if you do and Ergh if you don't" type of concept. Hoping at some point that there won't be an Ergh any more and an event shall blossom upon a higher level.

Great Ink!
Aaron

[Barbara Walker]

You always write from deep within soul. It always touches me." But love never seems enough. Sometimes I am too tender. Sometimes I am too tough. If I get too much attention, feelings are hard to overrule. So often my fragile power, turns to scorn and ridicule." Those words have a lot of power and say so very much. They are, also, my favorite lines of the poem. Great write!

-eyepoetress

[JRB]

this was nicely put and deep in thought

[Cliff Rhodes]

This is a beautiful writing and it tells the tale of gold found in emotion's deep deep boundless well.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Each need for approval
opens cruel, seeping wounds.

I love these two lines the best!! Great poem Jusjenn_2u. Hits to the heart for me, you speak to my soul. Manna to my soul. Great words whispered, yet penned with sincerity.

[LonelySoul]

whoa! good way to let go of pent up emotions,there is grit in your honesty...
love this part,hits home...
If I get too much attention,
feelings are hard to overrule.
So often my fragile power
turns to scorn and ridicule.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

I really felt an affinity to your poignantly poetic write! It also reminded me of this quotation;

Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. - Carl Sandburg (1878-1967) American writer and editor, best known for his poetry.

Thank you for the read request!
Phill

[Bennett Logan]

What really stood out to me in this poem is your honesty. There's nothing like a good moment of reflection that makes you briefly evaluate yourself and your surroundings. That's what I took away from this, anyway.

If you're looking to revise or continue to work on this poem, I agree with a previous reviewer about removing the last six lines. They explain too much. "But love never seems enough," is a great way to end this piece. Cynicism, doubt, emotional wounds, yearning for more—there are no answers or reasons, but love never seems enough. Really good stuff!

[Just Charles]

Sound like a tug-of-war is going on. Nicely done, and well-depicted here. I think I'll add this to my favorites!