I struck in a lift

I struck in a lift

A Poem by writ rajat
"

My real experience In lift with a beautiful girl

"
For some work I had gone to the office,
I took the lift instead of the stairs,
Because a beauty was waiting there ,
Not for me but for lift,
So that's why my decision shifted,
Her eyes  were black ,
Her face was white,
Her cloths were slightly and visibly 
Tight,
Me and my luck were on one side
She and her beauty were on another,
I was silent and she was messaging her mother,
The door got shut,
The door had lighted fire in my heart's hut,
The lift had touched first floor,
I said "hello" but she ignored,
The lift started trembling and then something happened ,
The girl grew afraid,
Her fear started it's raid
The god had filled my luck's mug,
The girl  had given me a warm hug,
A shock of an emotion was in current,
Just because the lift got fainted 
The girl asked what have happened,
I told her no problem
From then she started cooking talkative curry,
In my lunch I had strawberries,
I shared it with her,
Then mechanic came,
The god had played a very nice game
I forgot to ask her name

© 2017 writ rajat



Author's Note

writ rajat
Thanks emipoemi for corrections

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Reviews

With all that passion, who can blame you for forgetting to ask her name!

Posted 1 Month Ago


writ rajat

1 Month Ago

Thanks dear
Cute story. Funny ending. Enjoyable read.

Posted 1 Month Ago


There's a TON of creativity here. Your story is so imaginative & original. I love these brightly-crafted expressions:
"Me and my luck were on one side
She and her beauty were on another"
and
"The god had filled my luck's mug"
and
"then she started cooking talkative curry"

These are all unusual & sparkling ways to describe everyday happenings with much creativity.

In the beginning, I would suggest to use something a little more creative here:
"Her eyes were black ,
Her face was white"

How about "ebony" or "onyx" for her eyes?
How about "alabaster" or "whipped cream" for her face? I try to use inventive color expressions instead of the ordinary "black" and "white" . . . just some ideas for future writings.

Posted 2 Months Ago


writ rajat

2 Months Ago

Thanks for ton of love comment
i am not surprised you forgot to ask her name...what a lovely time you had meeting her like that :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


oh, it's a very touching story ...
the finale impressed especially)

Posted 3 Months Ago


writ rajat

3 Months Ago

Thanks ..mmmm
ahaha! you forgot to ask her name....oh my..
such a lovely poem. i really liked it. good job!
:)

Posted 3 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

writ rajat

3 Months Ago

Thanks dear ......
Most love stories start in a lift...but you forgot to ask her name...well described Raj..I loved it

Posted 3 Months Ago


writ rajat

3 Months Ago

Thanks ........
The one time when you wish the lift would have remained stuck for a little longer...a charming tale tinged with 'what might have been' ?

Posted 3 Months Ago


writ rajat

3 Months Ago

Thanks dear,...sir
What a cute write this is. I especially like the lines, "Me and my luck were on one side
She and her beauty were on another"
There is a whimsical feel to the situation. Lovely. Lydi**


Posted 3 Months Ago


writ rajat

3 Months Ago

Ty..............
Forgot to ask her name, so sad...I found the poem really interesting.
I enjoyed it.

Posted 3 Months Ago


writ rajat

3 Months Ago

Ty.........

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Added on July 7, 2017
Last Updated on July 7, 2017

Author

writ rajat
writ rajat

patna, bihar, India



About
I study in St.xaviers college more..

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