this boy i love

i came up with this. on a boy i used to know. its rough and i need critiques and rewrites.

as we lay on the broken ground beneath our laughter, I hear the sound of
his voice, the way it carries in the wind. I look into his eyes and i
see the love he gave and and the feelings i've lost. The sweetest most
caring boy wrapped around me as my best friend, swaddled in my arms and
the sun glistened on our newly tanned summer skin. this day wont last
forever. but for now we stay together in perfect symmetry with the smile
on his face the warmth in his eyes and love in his face. His eyes were
the most intricate piece of him that i have ever noticed. Hazel.
Sometimes green but mostly brown with different specs of beauty in them.
His muscles form down his body in every perfect way; flexing when he
laughs. The only person in the world he cared about was the girl that he
smashed into pieces but was still his best friend. Who still loves him
deeply.

Author's Note

i have grammar issues and writing issues

Reviews

[QuietlyCrash]

This is really good. But, you could make it better by maybe working on your capitalization and other grammar issues, but also maybe adding more descriptive words in your writing. That's just my suggestion, but, all in all good job.