Whatever it Takes

Karen stood absolutely still, arms spread wide, head held high and her eyes closed, as the bitter wind blustered against her body. She wouldn't even allow the elements to sway her. Push back. Whatever it takes.

Exactly one year ago, she had attempted to kill a man by pushing him off a roof. He hadn't died; it had all been a huge scam, a prime time TV show, she'd willingly signed up for as a contestant, without knowing what it would entail. In the end it was jolly good fun really, eliciting a hearty laugh from the audience when her supposed victim was dangling from the ropes, instead of falling to his death. The man had dropped only a few meters until gravity had pushed him against the soft padding on the house wall.

Nevertheless, Karen had been willing to end his life. Not because she'd hated the man, not because she had any real quarrel with him, but because she'd been pushed into doing it. Renowned actors, ingenious special effects artists and a manipulative show master, pulling strings in the background, had made her overstep a threshold she'd thought she'd be unable to cross. They'd woven a tight mesh of lies and incriminating situations to persuade her that committing murder was her only option. And she had pushed. Whatever it takes.

"It's all over," the show master had proclaimed afterwards, a beaming smile on his face and his arms wide open to welcome the shaken, gullible sheep back to reality. "Breathe, Karen," he'd laughed, "it's alright, nothing happened!"

Nothing at all. She'd submissively fallen into his arms, sobbing and choking on her tears. She was crying over nothing.
 
"Aren't you relieved, Karen? No one was hurt; it was all just a show!"

She'd nodded obediently. She couldn't believe her luck; she was innocent. A push without consequences. A murder without a victim.

Don't be an accomplice, push back! Make the world a better place - whatever it takes! - That had been the moral of the evening, the takeaway message for the people at home and the lesson she was supposed to learn along with the audience.

Karen had taken it to heart. Now, she didn't even allow the wind to push her, as she was standing on the very roof that had shown her - and the world - what she was capable of. Whatever it takes!

Naturally, her psychological debriefing had been thorough and very professional. She'd learned that three out of four candidates had let themselves be manipulated into killing. Karen was in the majority, that was some consolation at least. It could happen to anyone, the counselor had assured her. Except it hadn't. It had only happened to three out of four.

Whatever it takes!

After the show had aired, it had been difficult for Karen, a formerly successful freelance designer, to get hired. Potential customers had recognized her face and although no one ever mentioned the show, Karen could see in their eyes that they remembered. They were appalled and disgusted by what she'd done. Thankfully, time had quickly dissipated her dubious fame. People easily forgot the lessons they'd been taught. Karen, however, would never forget.

Make the world a better place!

Friends and colleagues had shown her a lot of sympathy and were quick to admit they would have - probably - done the same. Karen's family had been very supportive as well. Her parents had been adamant that it wasn't her fault, nor theirs for that matter, and that she was a good person at heart, driven to do a terrible thing. The nightmares, however, didn't stop. In her dreams she was pushing over and over again, loved ones and strangers alike. Though reality brought them all back to life, it failed to provide reassurance that she'd be incapable of murder. She'd been proven otherwise.

Push back!

She stepped closer to the edge. The wind whispered deceitful messages, trying to persuade her that she had done nothing wrong. With all its force, it attempted to push her back to safety, yet Karen knew she wasn't in danger; she was the threat.

Make the world a better place!

There were no more cameras on the roof, no professional pranksters, no show master and no audience to witness her victory over pressure. No rope would break her fall; no padding would soften her impact.

Karen pushed herself on.

Whatever it takes!

Author's Note

So… this is all fiction, right? Sadly, not quite. While the specific character, the consequences and the ending are my own fictional addition, the show itself happened. It was aired two days ago, in the UK under the title "Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge". Needless to say how I felt about said show and the generally positive reception. Out of about a hundred live tweets no more than three pointed out how unethical this was. Most people considered it thrilling and the best thing ever on television. The makers pointed out that they wanted to demonstrate how susceptible we all are to social pressure and how easily we can be coerced to do terrible things, but this has been common knowledge since the Milgram experiments in the sixties. The show proved nothing new, all it accomplished was putting four people through psychological torture and airing their ordeal to an audience of millions.
There's still a tiny spark of hope in my mind though, that the four candidates might have been in on the 'joke' from the start and were just acting. I sincerely hope that's the case, because I just can't believe that even the entertainment industry would act so irresponsibly. Unfortunately, there's pretty good evidence that it was real, so I had to spin this tale further to - hopefully - get my point across.
Nevertheless, while I'd naturally be interested in your opinion on the subject, I'd also love to hear what you think about the story. Does it work as a narrative? Any suggestions on how to improve it? All comments welcome!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I completely follow your story & the lessons involved. I felt your storytelling was imaginative, with the italicized repetition thru-out, & the creative use of dialogue, & weaving in supporting characters. The only problem is that I did not FEEL sufficient intensity from the scene in the show, as described, to justify remorse to the point of feeling suicidal over it. It might be better to begin the story with that first regretful shove, except to draw it out to maximum dramatic intensity, sharing vividly all the things going thru the mind of the shover at that moment in time (instead of referring back to it, later, which waters down the effect). CONVINCE me this situation is worthy of making a person feel suicidal.

The main thing I found distracting in your writing: You use passive verbs constantly. This would be a verb with "has" or "have" in front (including "she'd" do this & "she'd" do that). Passive voice takes all the power out of your writing. When you use active verbs, your writing comes alive, especially with an action scene.

Example: "she had attempted to kill a man by pushing him off a roof. He hadn't died; it had all been a huge scam, a prime time TV show, she'd willingly signed up for"

Now, in active voice: "she attempted to kill a man by pushing him off a roof. He didn't die; it was all a huge scam, a prime time TV show she willingly signed up for"

Hopefully this is helpful. Once you get rid of passive voice, you'll never want to write any other way but using active voice.

If you pruned out about 50 "had" "have" & "she'd" from this piece, it would read so much better.

[Kaliope]

Thank you so much for taking the time and reviewing this story. I appreciate your honesty and I'll certainly take your advice into consideration.
There's one thing I have to say in my defense though: it's not all passive voice - the 'hads' are tense related. Past perfect might seem less dynamic than other tenses because it looks rather clunky, but it is not automatically passive. That said, if it still feels entirely inactive my point is probably moot :-)

[barleygirl]

This isn't about how it feels or what you call it. It's an industry-accepted principle that past perfect (if that's what you want to call it) is considered "passive voice" and it's usually not a good practice. Many of us start out this way & it can be hard to stop using this tense. You can fight it, but your writing won't get as far . . . thanks for considering my extensive comments in good faith & good humor (((HUGS)))

[Philip Muls]

It is all about entertainment right...this is a chilling story, showing that we should respect moral boundaries. And we clearly underestimate the unconscious effects.

Well done.

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much Philip. That stupid show really bothered me and imho no one can tell how the contestants will be affected in the long run. I certainly hope they'll cope much better than my protagonist.

[Solar]

It does indeed work as a narrative! No suggestions on improvement on the way you have brought home the irresponsible nature of some social experiments, including reality tv!

'No psyches were harmed in the making of this reality show' - no doubt there are a whole load of legal disclaimers to such programmes.

[Kaliope]

Thank you so much! Still wondering what I find more alarming, the fact that the show was made and aired or the that the public didn't seem to care. I'm glad I could transport the message though, sometimes that's all we can do.

[Solar]

Haha perhaps all of life is a reality show - people always making choices, no safety nets!

[M.E.Lyle]

This is pretty cunning. A really neat piece of work, written well.
It got me to wonder, what would I do?
Great job.

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much :-)

[Bobby Garfield]

I really liked it, especially the way you eventually reveal the character of the show your protagonist had participated in. I think the story could be longer, which is a compliment I guess :). I also liked the repeating of the show's slogans, indicating that they still work in her subconsciousness.

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much! I consider it a great compliment indeed that you wanted it to be longer :-)

[Greg Agee]

That was wonderful. One of the best I've ever read here, Beautifully written,.I was glued to it. I'm a fan !

[Kaliope]

Wow, thank you!

[Joey Bost]

Great story, usally the ones I write are about the end of the world. Check out my latest story Wondering through the Fallout if your interested

[Samuel Dickens]

You've done an outstanding job of telling the story and revealing these disturbing events. Who among us has not done things we aren't proud of? I certainly have, and in no way would I want those lowest moments revealed to the world. The fact is that we all have it in us to be either saint or sinner to some degree. The media, in general, has lost all self respect and duty towards quality, and cares only about ratings. (Money)
Karen's sense of morality was so strong that it forced her to atone for the evil she'd exhibited in the most extreme way. If we all did that, there'd be very few of us left. A much better way would be to seek forgiveness from God and/or ourselves.
There is great and meaningful substance here, and I thank you for sharing it with us.

[Kaliope]

Thank you so much Sam, your kind words mean a lot to me - especially since this was a story that just forced its way onto the page.
True, not many people would react like Karen, and that's a good thing too, otherwise - as you said - not many would be left, so I sincerely hope that Karen's fate remains fiction.
Nevertheless, I think media urgently needs to develop a sense of ethics. I've been thinking about sending this story to the people responsible for the show... but I'm sure they wouldn't even read a single line.

[JMKane117]

Hi Kaliope!
Your style is wonderful as always. Got no qualms there. What was a bit off-putting for me was the narration/voice. It's all mostly from the narrator's voice and doesn't read like it's in the present, which makes it read as "told" and not "shown". For instance, when you use: (Exactly one year ago). That makes it sound as though its not in Karen's own voice. Other times it's not in her voice: (Nevertheless/ the frequent use of "had"/ Naturally/ Friends and colleagues). It tells readers things they should know instead of showing them. It feels more clinical, like a case almost.

I'm guessing the voice of the narrator was intentional, but it creates a huge distance between the reader and Karen. The narrator sounds almost clinical, where I think perhaps your intention was to show the impact on Karen.

This is a great idea for a narrative. I'm biased towards third-person limited perspectives and voices in those perspectives, but I think with a little fiddling in the narration and voice you could massively improve it. If you're going for something different, then you're on the right track.

Great work as always. :)

[Kaliope]

Thank you very much! The distance was intentional, I was going for a kind of clinical case study style, but that doesn't mean it was necessarily a good idea ;-). Naturally, I'll take your suggestions into consideration.
Btw, I still owe you a review on the last chapter... don't worry, haven't forgotten. I'm slowly catching up on my RR list, and I'll get there, I promise! :-)

[Untalented Creation]

Heavy story and that its based on a true story makes it worse. Nobody wants to see how cruel ones self can be. I'm puzzled by the idea of attempting suicide for the worlds greater good. This is the worst form of kindness I've ever thought about and all because of actually nothing. Its overwhelming to see that someone would kill oneself not because the world is to bad but because they feel as if they're to bad for the world. It definitely works as a narrative! You did a great job!
This story left me with a feeling of confusion, fascination and sadness. Again: Amazing written touching story.

[Kaliope]

Thank you so much! This was a story I had to get off my chest, and for me those are the ones I have the most difficulties to judge objectively. So I'm really relieved to hear that it worked for you :-)