Vanished

Vanished

A Story by KassyL
"

Two lovers doomed from the start, Elisa Dunsley finds herself murdered and her husband, Kevin, being the only one who knows exactly who, or what killed her.

"
The killer widower.

That’s what I’m known as at work now. No, not Kevin Dunsley, the name to which I’ve responded to all 29 years of my life. I’m now just a reminder of death to all who knows me, a walking nutcase.

Every day at work each desk I pass I hear snickers and remarks of the tragic incident that happened over a year ago, the death of my wife, Elisa.

I bet by now you are a bit confused, so let me elaborate.

The day was Sunday, September 14, 2009. It was 8:36pm and Elisa and I were sitting in our 2001 Dodge Dakota truck at our favorite park watching as the sun was slowly setting, departing from the sky. This was our favorite spot; you could see every color of the sky slowly fading to a glistening darkness of stars.

The night was calm and quiet as it usually was, I swear you could hear a single pin drop from the splitting silence.

Until Elisa turned to me with a hint of curiosity in her voice and said, “Do you see that over there? Look, by the bushes!”

My eyes followed to where she pointed and were met by what seemed to be a man dressed in nothing but a brown burlap sack, shaking from the chill of the night. The man had no shoes, socks, or jacket and seemed a bit disoriented. He was staring face down at his bare feet, unaware we were watching.

“I’m going to dial 911, this isn’t right.” Elisa said, a hint of uneasiness in her voice.

“Wait a second,” I replied. “We don’t know this man at all, maybe we should talk to him first and see what’s going on. If we call the cops, he might be frightened off.”

“Kevin I really don’t think that’s a good idea at all. What if this guy is crazy? Or worse, a killer?”

“Sweetie please, let me just go over there and try to talk to him first. Let me at least ask him if I should call for help.”

“Kevin he isn’t there.”

“What?” I responded back confused and startled.

I looked over to the bushes where the man last was, and nothing. It’s like he vanished into thin air.

“This doesn’t make any sense…” I started. “He was standing just there only 30 seconds ago.”

“I think it’s time we leave.” Elisa said, pushing the lock button to lock all of the doors shut.

I put the key into the ignition and turned it, only to hear the sounds of an engine not willing to start.

“No, no this isn’t happening right now. Calm down, Elisa…” My wife kept trailing on, trying to keep herself from hyperventilating.

I swallowed and took a deep breath.

“Elisa, here’s what I need you to do. I’m going to the front of the car to check out the engine. Once I shut this door you will lock this truck, understand darling?” I spoke to her as calmly as I could without losing my own head.

Elisa nodded, still mumbling soothing words to herself.

“I know what we saw was something very, very strange and there’s no explanation for it, but it was just a man. Yes, he was dressed very oddly but we cannot let fear drive our minds. He probably wandered off into the park some where, he isn’t our problem.”

Elisa sighed, looking slightly more relaxed and said, “I know you’re probably right, but something just doesn’t feel okay, Kevin. Please hurry.”

I kissed her on the forehead and turned to unlock my door. Before shutting the door I made sure Elisa locked the truck, and I proceeded over to the front of the truck.

I was expecting some fuming smell or smoke, but nothing smelled or appeared to be out of the ordinary. I popped open the hood, hoping to find the cause of the unresponsive vehicle.

I was looking down into the engine, feeling for anything out of the ordinary, until I felt something. A jolt, almost as if something had fallen on top of the vehicle, causing it to shake.

I backed up so my vision was of the entire vehicle, and then my heart sank completely to my stomach. There on top of the roof of my truck was the man in the burlap sack.

He sat inhuman like, crouched down low with his arms dangling in front of him. He had his head turned to the side, staring at me with this demon-like smile. His eyes were completely black and he had this awkward twitch every few seconds.

I caught my breath and didn’t move an inch. I couldn’t really make sense of what was happening in that moment. I was fighting reality with imagination. A rational explanation could not be given, no matter how hard I tried. I could not deny what I was seeing with my own two eyes.

Once my head finally stopped spinning and focused on what I was looking at, I took one small step to the side, just enough to look into my wife’s window.

I began saying, “Do not move and do not unlock the truck,” but once the last word escaped my mouth, the man jumped down from the roof, landing on the hood shutting it.

I heard Elisa scream for me to run, but I couldn’t. My legs felt glued to this spot, like something was holding me down. No matter how many times my mind told my legs to move, they just…couldn’t.

I looked towards the man, who now jumped off of the hood and was coming closer and closer to me. I stood my ground, not moving a centimeter. He stopped dead in his tracks only a few feet away from me, his eyes looking me up and down, almost as if daring me to charge at him. I was preparing myself for anything, fearing he would pounce at any given second, until I heard the passenger side door open, and out came Elisa.

The man heard the door and spun around, cocking his head to one side at a time, still with the same evil grin on his face.

Elisa froze in her tracks, not sure what to do next. She looked at me for any given advice, her eyes pleading me to help. But my mind was blank and running a thousand different directions; I didn’t know how to help her.

The man then looked over his shoulder at me, winked, and started running towards her, faster than any human man I’ve ever seen. Elisa, startled and screaming, tried to open up the truck door to go inside and shield herself from the man, but had no luck in doing so.

Just when he was supposed to collide with her, a giant puff of white smoke emerged and they were both gone. Just like that, they vanished. Elisa and the man were both gone without a single trace each one even existed in that given time.

I ran around the entire vehicle, checked underneath of it and everything. I walked through the park several times to find even a hint of my wife, but nothing.

I ran back to the truck, searched for the keys and put the key into the ignition, starting it without a single problem. Now frustrated and terrified I punched the steering wheel 3 times, splitting one of my knuckles open. I grabbed Elisa’s phone from the passenger seat and dialed 911 but couldn’t get cell service.

I panicked and drove all the way to the nearest police station. They followed me to the scene and searched what seemed like for days for her, but nothing could be found.

They asked me question after question, searching for any small details I may have overlooked to help me find Elisa. I went through the story several times with many different detectives, each one looking at me as if I made up the entire scenario. I mean, who would believe someone who claims they seen their wife and a creepy being disappear into white smoke?

For two weeks I sat around and waited for something. A sign, clue, anything to help me find my wife. I went back to that park several times a week to try and find that man again. At this point it’s been so long since she vanished, I was now looking for my wife’s deceased body. The detectives warned me at this point in the investigation there was a 5% chance of her still being alive. I hung onto that 5% with every ounce of hope left in me, but I knew something horrible must have happened to her…that “man,” that disturbing, malicious abductor was nothing of this world. And I feared for my wife’s safety and soul.

Then on Monday, September 28th, 2009 my wife’s body was found in my own backyard by police.

Her arms and legs were separated from her body and placed next to our shed, while the remainder of her body was placed by the huge tree in the center of our yard. Not only that, her clothes were replaced with nothing but a similar, if not the same burlap sack the man was wearing. But the most disturbing sight was of her face; her smile extended into the same inhuman arch of the man, and her once green eyes now replaced with black, dead soulless ones.

I tried to look away. I tried to remember my wife the way she used to look, but her once beautiful body was replaced with a mutilated, demented corpse. I needed to see this.

I couldn’t contain myself, I completely lost it. Screaming, shouting curses into the air, I called out to that man, demanding he show himself and face me.

Three police men forced me to the ground and handcuffed me instantly. Still shouting, they raised me from the ground and started walking me towards the police car. I was thrown into the back with the door shortly slamming into my face.

As we drove away, I turned to face out of my window. There by the tree I noticed a man in a burlap sack waiting there, smiling an evil smile directly at me. I fought the handcuffs, commanded the police to look in the direction I was yelling at.

“Someone please! He’s right there! Look!” But neither one looked in my direction.

"Shut the hell up back there!" Yelled the officer driving.

Frustrated, I looked back at the tree hoping the man would still be there, but he was gone once more.

I slammed my feet down a million times in defeat and anger, tears welling down my face. I had to face the reality that my wife was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it.

It never occurred to me how wrong this looked on my part and that I would become an instant suspect in my wife’s murder. However I am the only one who knows the truth, actually, there are many people who know the truth, but no one chooses to believe it. Instead they rather call you crazy and give you many different kinds of medications and therapist visits.

No evidence was found, of course, indicating I was the murderer and the cause of my wife’s tragic death. I was let loose after many interrogations and questionings from police and higher authorities, but it will never dismiss people’s opinions of me and all the nasty things they say about me on a daily basis.

I now had serious patrol on my part, watching my every move, hoping they catch me slipping up so they can lock me up for good. But they never will. And when that creepy man returns and harms yet another innocent person, maybe then they will choose to listen and accept the truth that has been slapped in their faces so many times before.

Every now and then I can sense the mans presence, lurking in every dark corner of every room I enter. I call out to him to show himself, to face me so I can finally seek the revenge I so rightfully deserve, but he never comes. He took what he wanted from me and vanished…and he can do the same to you.

© 2017 KassyL


Author's Note

KassyL
- Please review grammar problems
- Structuring
- Anything you would personally add/do differently
This is (technically) my first published writing, so any reviews given are very much appreciated and I thank anyone who gives time to review!

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This is a very spine-tingling tale. Well spun, and well told. That last line gave me the creeps, but it was an awesome finish. So in structure, you get an A+. Grammar is also an A+ (but there are a couple of aspects you should tweak: "Elisa and the man were both gone without a single trace THAT each one even existed in that given time"; "underneath [the vehicle]" NOT "underneath of"; and then there's the small matter of repeating nouns in close proximity, most notably "I kissed her on the forehead and turned to unlock my door. Before shutting the door I made sure Elisa locked the truck, and I proceeded over to the front of the truck.". "Door" and "truck" do not need to be repeated twice in such a short span. They can be replaced by pronouns or different parts of the truck (like the hood), so long as you can phrase it more fluidly. There are two concerns about the narrative I would like to close with: 1: Elisa is not mentioned shutting the door, so why is she trying to open it shortly after in order to get in. All it says is "and out comes Elisa" (so the final image is her stepping out of the truck and (typically) supporting herself on the open door. 2. There's nothing mentioned of the history of why Kevin would want to talk to the man in burlap prior to deciding on calling the police or not. You should consider rewriting that one small bit so that it's more believable. What purpose would he have to not fear the man at first glance? Elisa surely is sending her vibes out of concern and agitation, and the way he tries to calm her makes me think this was a Fargo-like setup (I mean "the killer widower".....I got a little confused that he wasn't narrating this from jail when I was reading that he was going to talk to the man). So yeah, more believable reason for passing him off at first as some normal street urchin. Other than that, I much enjoyed this tale. Creepy.....amusingly creeping. Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a very spine-tingling tale. Well spun, and well told. That last line gave me the creeps, but it was an awesome finish. So in structure, you get an A+. Grammar is also an A+ (but there are a couple of aspects you should tweak: "Elisa and the man were both gone without a single trace THAT each one even existed in that given time"; "underneath [the vehicle]" NOT "underneath of"; and then there's the small matter of repeating nouns in close proximity, most notably "I kissed her on the forehead and turned to unlock my door. Before shutting the door I made sure Elisa locked the truck, and I proceeded over to the front of the truck.". "Door" and "truck" do not need to be repeated twice in such a short span. They can be replaced by pronouns or different parts of the truck (like the hood), so long as you can phrase it more fluidly. There are two concerns about the narrative I would like to close with: 1: Elisa is not mentioned shutting the door, so why is she trying to open it shortly after in order to get in. All it says is "and out comes Elisa" (so the final image is her stepping out of the truck and (typically) supporting herself on the open door. 2. There's nothing mentioned of the history of why Kevin would want to talk to the man in burlap prior to deciding on calling the police or not. You should consider rewriting that one small bit so that it's more believable. What purpose would he have to not fear the man at first glance? Elisa surely is sending her vibes out of concern and agitation, and the way he tries to calm her makes me think this was a Fargo-like setup (I mean "the killer widower".....I got a little confused that he wasn't narrating this from jail when I was reading that he was going to talk to the man). So yeah, more believable reason for passing him off at first as some normal street urchin. Other than that, I much enjoyed this tale. Creepy.....amusingly creeping. Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

135 Views
1 Review
Added on November 29, 2017
Last Updated on November 29, 2017
Tags: scary, spooky, killer, murder, thriller, short story, first story

Author

KassyL
KassyL

Baltimore, MD



About
Just a 20 year old writer trying to make something of myself in this crazy world. more..

Writing
N/A N/A

A Book by KassyL


Chapter 1 Chapter 1

A Chapter by KassyL