EXCLUSION

First piece it's a bit nonsensical

Life has become rhetorical.

I Speak only with anger,irrational speech, and sarcasm

Yet, what if these aren't a wall? 

What if I do let people in 

But what is seen is repulsed and unworthy

  The ugly of myself and the beauty of everyone else

has become a blockade

Armored with regret and fear

  bitter and cynical are my consequences

Yet there is no guilty noose, no finger to point

Vacant and soulless 

this monster is created within

  Hypocritical thoughts and actions 

turn to nausea

Becoming relentless against the forces of judgments 

Hear only whispers by ongoing critics. 

I choke on the pride harbored inside

The pride for being exclusive 

Exclusivity is an unnecessary violence

does that make me violent

 or simply descended to be exclusively alone?

is there any mystery worthy of your effort

  Violent, exclusive, and unworthy

 This show hold no unique characters

 or heart wrenching twists

 rather it’s agonizingly, predictable.

See only the peak of my performance

 yet there is no audience

all have left, disgusted or in fear

  my paranoia is my personal epidemic

my left ear being cut off,

my art unrecognized after death

with every member tried for treason irony sets in 

I Am the guilty noose, the finger is pointing at me!

Alone but labeled a fraud, 

accused of false advertisement

clearly a lemon 

Author's Note

Completely revised

Reviews

[Pencrafter]

Your story projects some powerful images, sometimes with a brassy dissonance. I think you could break this up into a poem. We usually get away with more literary pandemonium with poetry. Don't sweat the little things, which you'll catch when you proofread and do re-writes.

[myrto]

I really like your use of tangible vocabulary and rhetorical questions but what I like most is the way you quickly string thoughts together to bombard your reader with metaphors and apt comparison. A great read.