Silk Death

Web’s eye

clear cut  centre

of omniscient nerves

outstretched, embracing - -  air

waiting. 

Reviews

[Cdnsurfer]

Very nice imagery, Vanessa. Thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Sense of foreboding in the last line. The image of kissed air -- brings to mind the idea of the spider's kiss, even with the dew drops clinging to the threads.

Web�s/eye (2)
clear/cut/cen/tre (4)
of/om/ni/scient/nerves (5)
out/stretched,/em/brac/ing/dew-/kissed/air (8)
wait/ing. (2)

I'm thinking that the 3rd line is only 5 syllables by my count. Am I counting funny?

[Emily B]

Perfect. The words are as fine as the strands of spun dew catchers. Glistening a little with the thought of it all.

[Roy L. Pickering Jr.]

I've always found the spider's web to be one of nature's most fascinating spectacles, and considered them to be pretty solid proof of the existence of God. It's tough to do justice to such complex, utilitarian, deadly form of beauty, especially with so few words, but you proved yourself up to the task. This poem is a most refined and elegant form of literary brevity .

[Norma J. Jessee]

very good description of a spider laying in wait for it's prey. I can see it so plainly, I have a weapon handy to swat the thing with. eeeekkk. Ver good. look forward to reading more of your work. Have to thank James for directing me in your direction.

[An Ordinary Woman]

Very nice work. I think you have done an excellent job in describing the spider's web in the picture.

I'm always so impressed when I see so much imagery in so very few words.
btw, James K. Blaylock sent me ... I'm glad he did.
very nice.

[James K. Blaylock]

this one i just adore!!!

[Blackbirdsong]

This is wonderfully dark and forboding. Put right in the pov of a spider's like. She sits waiting so patiently after weaving her web. Well done.

take care :)

[Tawny O'hara]

I read this four times and then it dawned on me IT'S ABOUT A SPIDER WEB!!! ewwww
(as I look out my window and watch a tarantula trotting towards my car with a jimmy rod to steal it.) Hate spiders... hate them hate them and they hate me. So far though I've only seen one black widow here and in Arizona that was the main spider everywhere.

This depicts the web very clearly, sorry I know that I"m just slow. Once I realized what it was I could see that thing sitting there waiting for me to come and get caught in that web and then biten. I'm very appealing to spiders I think.

[Sandra]

Excellent work, Vanessa!
Original and interesting depiction of the spider web in the photo.
I really like 'clear cut center', 'omniscient nerves'.
Overall, very good writing and imagery.

[Yira Simone]

Vanessa, I really liked this cinquain. Wrting this as if we we being warned of this spider watching us, luring us into a trap, just waiting was just plain brilliant. Excellent imagery and I think your last line really pulled it all together. Good work!-Catrina