Sashaying to the Gate of the Deceased

Sashaying to the Gate of the Deceased

A Story by Write Cat
"

In a horrifying situation with no one except instinct Mika is forced to gallivant straight of in the forest which can end in a most horrifying tragedy.......

"
The crescent moon faded as the eerie winter mist set in, letting the darkness reign in supreme. The wind rose up in a piercing shriek and lashed with it's malicious claws at Mika's ever unraveling cloak. The owl as tsar of the night hovered close by, letting know the trespassers that instantaneous expiry dwelled not too far.But of all these disturbing presences, Mika was aware of none but her failing lungs who carried out gasps of the energy that propelled her feeble feet to move rapidly onward, forever onward. A glimpse backward now could establish itself as fatal. She could hear the treacherous thumping of the running boots behind her. The anguish that her feet seemed to endure as it clambered and tripped over sharp objects and piercing thorns seemed to hold her back relentlessly, an earsplitting blast of lightning left her diving head first into a cave. As soon as her flesh touched the frosty rock though, reflex pounded out of her heart's rhythm and Mika's arm swung out to reach security, but all that her thudding head could sense was the brutal hardness of rock. A sudden pain yelped through her side and ended right beneath her throat, making the raw flesh that was exposed sear right through with ongoing pain and bitterness. A scalding liquid gargled through into her lungs compelling her to belch it out in order to gain breath. Mika fluttered open her eyes only to clamp them shut again. Her burning eyes cried out for water while the less painful hand reached to ease the throbbing agony in her head. She rapidly withdrew as her hand enclosed on a sticky and foul smelling mess. For a second as the lightning flashed bright she could make out the blood which seemed to flood out on the boulders. A lullaby suddenly reeled out of her painful ache and then in a trice there was agony no more, only a peaceful sleep. Had she only looked a while at the roses before entering that fateful doorway, had she only fled to the marshes instead of taking that treacherous forest path, had she only kept quiet instead of letting the world hear her cry of horror, had she only chosen the better alternatives would her life not have sashayed slowly out of grasp and left her behind to face the shadows of the mourning death.   

© 2017 Write Cat



Author's Note

Write Cat
No matter how many stories I write I always come back to the forest or jungle, it is for me the most mysterious background to put your characters in if you have a lust for thrill. I constantly improve this side of my writing but it would most earnestly help me if I see another person's view of it, please leave your thoughts on this piece and thanks for taking the time to read my story!!!

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Reviews

It was an amazing short story. The vocabulary in it is very excelled which I love and I think that's what really keeps you hooked.

Posted 1 Month Ago


Write Cat

1 Month Ago

Thank you!!! I also like it when the vocabulary is excelled!!!
*rock.

Sorry about that. Gosh I hate this darned intagable phone keyboard.

Posted 4 Months Ago


This is extremely well written; the tone you've set is hard to pull off, but you nailed if flawlessly. You rack, dude!

Posted 4 Months Ago


Write Cat

4 Months Ago

Thanks!!! I am so glad so many people enjoy it!!
I enjoyed the read. I did not expect the ending for it but it was something that would make me want to read more of your writing.

Posted 4 Months Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Write Cat

4 Months Ago

Thanks for commenting!! As I said, novels which are thrilling and full of suspense means there has t.. read more
Quite interesting. You had me intrigued waiting to see what would happen next and even after finishing reading this there are multiple questions left unanswered. It definitely made me think a bit. Lovely work. The only bit of advice I could give would be to add paragraphs. It would make it a bit easier to read and understand, and it would make the story flow more smoothly.

Posted 4 Months Ago


Write Cat

4 Months Ago

Thanks Rose!! I really don't like "killing" my characters. I decided to try it out because in every .. read more
Rose Hagerty

4 Months Ago

You definitely made it suspenseful, I was glued to reading this because I wanted to know what would .. read more
Write Cat

4 Months Ago

Thanks so much Rose!!!

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

191 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 18, 2017
Last Updated on July 18, 2017
Tags: Fiction, adventure.

Author

Write Cat
Write Cat

Graaff-Reinet, Eastern Cape, South Africa



About
Hi everyone!! My name is Katie, I am twelve years old and I am passionate about letting my thoughts flow through my arm and radiate on paper. I appreciate it dearly when someone leaves critiques on m.. more..

Writing