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A Poem by that-little-green-monster
"

Title inspired by Harmlesslove. She's a great writer, check her out. Photo taken from sodahead.com. See description below.

"
He burned me without fire,
Slayed me with a kiss.
It's strange to feel a pulse,
When I know my heart is his.

I liked feeling like a queen,
But then I realized I was just a queen in your chessboard.
It's strange to feel a pulse,
When my heart was always ignored.

We've been playing too many games,
And I'm done competing.
It's strange to feel a pulse,
When I know my heart stopped beating.

© 2012 that-little-green-monster



Author's Note

that-little-green-monster
Fictional poem. Inspired by a few songs.

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Featured Review

I like all of your poetry Monster, especially when you use rhyme, but honestly the second line of the second verse needs to be shortened as it takes away all the rhythm of the balance of the poem. Use something like "Tho just a queen on your chessboard" or whatever it takes to get that line down to about six words. It'll flow better, trust me! Read it aloud several times and you'll see what I mean. It's great just as it is, and this is just my personal view on a great write. (don't hate me!)

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

that-little-green-monster

5 Years Ago

I don't hate you for expressing your views. I really appreciate your honest opinion and not just tel.. read more



Reviews

Hi remember me :)
you're still doing wonderful in your poems
I love this

Posted 4 Years Ago


I like all of your poetry Monster, especially when you use rhyme, but honestly the second line of the second verse needs to be shortened as it takes away all the rhythm of the balance of the poem. Use something like "Tho just a queen on your chessboard" or whatever it takes to get that line down to about six words. It'll flow better, trust me! Read it aloud several times and you'll see what I mean. It's great just as it is, and this is just my personal view on a great write. (don't hate me!)

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

that-little-green-monster

5 Years Ago

I don't hate you for expressing your views. I really appreciate your honest opinion and not just tel.. read more
I really dig this one man. I feel as if you should get Amy Lee from Evanescence to sing it into a song like "call me when you're sober". I love the way you make your verses and your free writing style.

great job :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


that-little-green-monster

5 Years Ago

Thank you very much :)
Wow! Nice ticking flow and lovely words. Beautifuly laced with emotion and pain, amazing!

Posted 5 Years Ago


that-little-green-monster

5 Years Ago

Thank you for the nice review
Great piece. I love the rhythm and then the long line. It's almost musical. You use pulse a few times, but I don't think it was redundant.

Posted 5 Years Ago


that-little-green-monster

5 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Great poem! Flowed very well, also.

Posted 5 Years Ago


sounds like you discovered you were only a drop in the bucket. it sucks to get hurt. great poem.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Ah a carcaphony of fierce elements.

Posted 5 Years Ago



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446 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 7, 2012
Last Updated on July 7, 2012
Tags: fire, broken, heartbreak, hurt, breakup, games

Author

that-little-green-monster
that-little-green-monster

About
Hello! I am a high school student. I am a thespian and a writer. I hope to pursue a career in a creative field. I believe that words can have affect on people more than we could ever imagine. I don't .. more..

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