Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

That’s what they call me

Beautiful

I’ve been beautifully robbed

What is beauty?

A person in love?

Beauty

A life full of glamour?

Beauty

I guess I’m her beat

My hair falls too flat

My eyes, an empty soul

My legs, too weak to walk

My mind, crowded hole

Hiding

Oh yes, I’m good at that

Hiding

Requires the mask

I do it everyday

Fake

Smiles and laughter

What can I say?

Dropping the mask to face everything head on

That’s sure to end in contrastively

Chaos, Chaos

That’s all I live in

Why?

Because I don’t know how to do it myself

It takes time

That’s what they say

It’s true

But sometimes I just can’t wait

So I do something rash

Another painful mistake

Tell me,

Is this my fate?

Fate

A destiny made just for me

Fate

I’m hiding again

There’s no worst feeling

Than hopelessness and helplessness

It hurts

But that’s my fault

I should’ve called out if I’m drowning in the pool

But receiving and admitting is to die

Or so I think

It’s easy to pick out the hurt in others

You find your face in their reflection

How beautiful

How amazing

How insightful

Other can be

Do I own anything?

Just one quality of happiness?

My mind immediately answers writing

I guess I’d have to agree

A single pen can make the difference of the world

A single sentence

A single phrase

A single word

Can make all the difference

Words are power

I am power

I am worth, aren’t I?

How much would I be worth?

How much would my life be worth?

$1,000?

$100?

$0.25?

Who would buy such a clumsy mess?

I, of course, hear my supporters crying

“We’ll take you”

It means everything to me

To have someone there for you

To know you’re safe

The favor is returned in the same way

I will be there for them as they are with me

I am caring

If I could see the right path

Oh, the things I could do

I’ve got voices in my head encouraging me

I’ve got friends in my life setting my example

I’ve got family in my life that will always love me

I am loved

Yet I’m still venerable

Small words can bring me to my knees

I might cry, but I’ll try hard not to

Crying is not allowed in my house

I’m supposed to be strong

I’m Miss-Fix-It

I hold back my emotions

Rather feel nothing than the dark abbsy of my soul

I build houses and planets in my mind

I’ve learned to keep a wall around my heart

I am creative

Creativity can come with a price

It’s possible to fail

You can fall down again

Rejected

You become trapped

Rattling your chains against it’s dirty walls

It wants to keep you down

Down where the sun’s bright tentacles never reach you

All that’s on your mind is escape

They say the first step of getting out is to admit there is a problem

You’re thinking “Uh-Duh

You’re darn right there’s a problem

What are you going to do about it?”

We’re going to fail

We’re going to be abused

We’re going to be stuck here forever

Until we drop out pride

And ask for help

That’s the hardest thing one faces

They’ll tell you the same things you’ve hear

Keep your head up and feet moving

Keep going

Keep moving

I am persistent

I will keep moving

Weither I like it or not

I struggle a lot

I fall a lot

And perhaps there’s nothing I can do

I’m seeking help

I’m on step one

Relapse and frustration

It leads to unwanted feelings

It leads to depression

Now comes the dance with Sue

I am still dancing with Sue myself

We sway

We twirl

We flare or arms and stamp our feet

But I never let him remove his hood

Don’t look him in the eyes

But I let him touch my arm

With his icy fingertips

I allow Sue to hold me

He whispers plans in my head

He’s so comforting

I start to wish I could live with him forever

No more lies

No more abuse

No more… anything

Beautiful that’s what they call me

Beautiful

I’ve been beautifully robbed

Of a life I’d like to live

I sigh in discontent

That’s life I won’t get back

I am so young

But he likes to play with teens

I’m supposed to be scared

I supposed I am

Who wouldn’t be?

I’m only human

I can only take so much

I’m overwhelmed

I’m stretched too thing

I think I’ll never learn

When I fall, pieces get scatters

I try to pick it up, but I miss some major parts

I will never be whole again

But hope has to be there somewhere

So I’ve come to realize

Don’t leave tasks to others

I am hope

I am belief

Beautiful

That’s what they call me

Beautiful

I am beautiful

Reviews

[oceanatears]

Nicely written and really gets the point across!