Gone

Gone

 

Red drops hit the water

Watch them expand

In perfect little twirls

Drip

Drip

The water’s turning red

Who knew such a simple word

Could cause this perfect blend

Drip

Drip

It’s a thick dye

It rolls off a smooth white surface

Gathering at the edge

Drip

Drip

She became too close to Sue

Sue had took her far away

They will live forever now

Drip

Drip

   Gone

Reviews

[Quattro Hall]

this is so deep it kinda hurts.
I mean wow! this was great. simple yet kinda a mind bomb.
Great Job and keep it up.

[Kitt]

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed this.

[LauraMarieAlways]

I think that the line should be "Sue had taken her far away" because "taken" is the past tense of the verb, which is needed when paired with "had". Other than that, great write. I enjoyed the repetition; repetition is my favorite literary element and is always appreciated in poems. Good job

[Kitt]

Thank you so much. I'll fix that error.

[Ime Mbang]

Very graphic

[Kitt]

Thanks for the review

[Ime Mbang]

Np

[Empty Spaces]

simply amazing

[Kitt]

Thank so much.

[oceanatears]

WOW! This is so powerful! It really is amazing how somebody can change from being alive to dead within minutes. I love how there are hints dropped along the poem and at the end the pieces come together. I also love how you made 'Sue'.

[Kitt]

Thank you for your review. I really apperciate it.

[first second third]

this is a powerfull piece. its amazing how quick you can lose someone it opened my eyes thank you for shareing that.

[Kitt]

You're completely welcome. I'm glad it meant something to people. Feel free to check out any of my other writings.