Carried up to the Sun

this is my longest poem i've ever written, i think. it's using the metaphor of leaves and rain to describe depression kinda. well, that was the idea anyway. =)

Sunlight drips from the glossy leaves,

Like rain in a sunstorm.

The breeze stirs up the leaves from the grass,

And blows them back to their homes.

The noise of the greeting is rustling,

As the trees wave to their former partners.

 

The area goes dark as clouds crosses over the sun.

The breeze suddenly turns chill,

And gusts every loose thing up to the clouds.

The leaves dance in the wind,

Twirling like fairies,

Until the breeze fades,

Where they float gently back to the ground,

Or are caught up in saying goodbye to the trees.

 

The first raindrops fall,

Tapping on every surface.

And the leaves are glued to the ground

By the pressure.

The wind tries its hardest to pick them up,

But the rain has pushed them down,

And they can’t get back up.

They are trapped.

 

Then the sun breaks through.

Its warming light dries the leaves,

Making them light,

Freeing them.

The breeze blows through,

Picks them up,

And carries them up to the sun.

Reviews

[Kyler Thomann]

I like it a lot, the progression of the metaphor is really interesting. I like the turn in the end, using the title to add emphasis. Its really good.