what did i do?A Chapter by Olive Belikov
I'm walking through the school, looking for someone. i don't really know who it is im looking for until i find him; my little brother. But there's all these other people in the hallway, girls i think, and a couple boys. there all around my brothers age. and then it comes to me, where at cheer-leading tryouts for the middle school kids.
" you have to be as flexible as you can, kay? and try to be fast and springy, but not too bouncy." i tell my brother, fixing his shirt and spiking his hair.
"Okay! go wait in the stands" he says back and gives me a slight push.
i'm nerves for some reason, i can feel my heart beat thumping inside my chest and in my head. my hands are shaking and for some reason i feel fear coursing through my veins. almost like something bad is about to happen but i don't know what. Or like i know but i just can't - won't think about it.
and then i'm outside in a pavilion, and there are houses on the other side of the street. i can see one house, its white, some what small. but it looks so used, so worn. a small yard is in the front with three stone stairs leading from the house to the grass. i stand for a moment, transfixed with the house. I've seen it before, i think. but then im running, i need to find Konnor, my brother, before something bad happens to him, where can he be? all these other grown ups are running around looking for there kids, its frantic. i think there's a fire, or a shooting, maybe the buildings collapsing.
I see Konnor, sitting over in the small yard of the white house; just sitting there crying. im running to him now, and in the side of my vision i see another girl/ woman running towards my brother. Were racing each other, but she's running faster, like she's more desperate to get to the child. i look back to the yard, and i realize that the child sitting there crying is not my brother, but instead Riena's baby girl. Riena, i know her from somewhere.
i'm confused and scared now because i can't find Konnor. Where can he be? Back inside the school maybe? but i don't get the chance to look for him because i'm in the dark, a dark so dark the fear in my veins explodes. and then i can hear the screaming. a girl, two girls, screaming in pain, somewhere in the dark. Is it me? am i the one screaming? Riena, she's there, she's one of the two girls; i just know it, but i cant help. Then there's a crack in the darkness, but the light that comes through it is red and evil; the color of a fire burning. and then the darkness is gone, i'm fine, but why am i hiding?
I'm in a house, hiding behind the railing of a balcony, looking down at men walking through the house, calling someones name. There's one man in particular that i pay attention to the most. He's tall, nicely built. but he gives off the feeling of home. He's the father, i think, the father of the little girl who was crying in the yard of the white house. But he's not calling her name, no - he's calling mine, and i'm hiding. Why am i hiding? what did i do? i feel like crying, on the verge of tears, i feel regretful, like i've done something bad. i want to answer his call, to give in, but im scared.
then i give into the temptation of his voice calling my name. I stand beside him ready to face judgment. He's leading me into another room, a room where i now realize i heard the screaming come from. i also realize that it was not i who was the second girl screaming. no, not i, but instead it was the little girl - Riena's baby.
On a table, in the middle of the room, lay two bodies. two discarded, saddened, and burnt bodies. One is so much smaller than the other, so innocent. Dear God what have i done? it was i, i know, who did this. i caused this horrible thing. i killed them.
© 2011 Olive Belikov
Shelved in 1 LibraryAdded on September 19, 2011
Last Updated on September 19, 2011
AboutI am a daughter, a sister, a grand-daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend. I am a partner, a student, a young girl, and a grown woman. I am confident and scared, terrified and excited. I am loving and .. more..