A Maze of HateA Chapter by Olive Belikov
Were in the middle of the crowded lunch room, me and my friends. As we get up to dump our trays over in the trash can we laugh at something funny, letting the happiness sink in. It’s a good day, I think to myself. Today is a good day.As we reach the trash, I notice the boy behind the counter washing trays. It must be his week to do it since we all rotate shifts. His white hair shines with youth and his blue eyes pierce mine as he glances up and smiles at me. Reese. The name flashes through my mind as I go up to hand him my tray, a smile of my own returning his.
“Wanna come help me back here?” He asks me in a flirtatious manor, making my heart skip a beat. I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment with this boy. “Come on, it wouldn't be as boring as it is now with you back here.”
“Hmm,” I say. “I’ll have to think about it..” I put a pondering expression on my face, “Well I suppose it couldn’t be thaat bad.” I reply sarcastically and turn the corner till I’m in the kitchen with him. As soon as I step through the door Reese picks up a spray nozzle from the sink and sprays me with warm water, laughing as I shriek and run to grab another nozzle, spraying water back at him. Together we stand there wet and laughing as the world melts away.
Reese and I are walking. It’s dark out and we walk through a small community made up of rows and rows of small houses. Each one worn down from time; old flower print curtains hang in windows and concrete steps cracking. I can feel Reese’s presence like wild fire, my heart skipping every time his arm brushes mine. But there’s something I’m forgetting, someone I’m forgetting. We reach the door to a small white house, a screen door separating us from the inside. He reaches out and opens it as he puts a hand on my back and guides me in. As we step through the door, I see an old lady sitting in a chair at a table on one side of a rectangular room. She’s a plump woman, with graying hair, and a sweet smile. She gives me a polite hello that I return with ease.
On the other side of the room is a brown couch that we go over to; plopping down next to each other and turning on the tv that sits in front of us. But I’m not paying attention to the tv; my mind is else where. Actually, it’s in two places. Part of me is being intrigued with the conversation Reese and I are having. It’s so easy to talk to him, like we’ve been friends forever. But as I talk to Reese my mind wonders to what it I have forgotten. I know it’s important, especially in this moment. I need to remember someone.. a boy. Yes a boy, one I’ve spent countless days with, the one I love.
‘I remember now,’ I think to myself but I’m suddenly distracted by Reese. His hand has moved to my knee, his fingers tracing light circles on my jeans. He has caught me mid sentence, and my voice stops by his touch; both of us quite, him staring at me and me staring at his hand. I glance at his other hand as it moves to rest on my arm, his hand feeling my bare arm. He’s suddenly so close, I can feel his breath as it touches my skin. My own heartbeat increases, knowing this is not right, but wanting it all the more. Reese starts to lean in, his lips ever closer with each passing second. But I have to remember the other boy, I have to remember the boy I love.
A centimeter is all that’s separating Reese’s lips from mine. How easy it would be to just lean forward and feel his touch.
NO! The thought savagely rips through my mind, alarming me as to what is really happening. With both hands I shove against Reese’s chest, realizing just how close he really is. As I push him off of me I stand quickly, stumbling a bit as his foot catches mine. But I don’t look back as I pull open the door, hearing it hit the wall, and bound down the cracked concrete steps.
I hear Reese call out my name from the doorway and then his heavy footsteps chasing mine. I detect a hint of rage in his voice as he calls out again for me to stop. I weave in and out of rows of tiny houses, the gravel road beneath my feet making me slip a bit when I hurry my pace. Reese’s voice is changing now, along with his words. His once sweet and gentle voice has turned to the voice of a different person; now as he chases me, he spits foul words of hate and disgust. I know this voice, I think to myself, not daring to look back and see the knew boy I know to be the one chasing me now. For if I were to look back, I would see a tall, lanky boy with black hair and green eyes. A boy with muscled hands that have used my body many times before as a punching bag. This boy scares me, terrifies me, and I have to get away.
But all I can do is run past houses, as the evil boy of my past starts to catch up to me. I think faintly of the boy I love, and how I would do anything to be with him right now. I think of how he could save me from the darkness following me. But he’s not here, nor could he get here before it’s too late because the boy has almost reached me now. Terror courses through my veins and I beg my legs to go faster, just get me a little further. The boys hateful words bringing down sadness inside my mind. I thought I had gotten rid of this forever when I found my love, but apparently not.
A heavy hand comes down from behind me and I fall forward, small rocks digging into my palms and knees as I try to catch myself. The air is knocked out of me and I turn over onto my back to see the green eyes that haunt me awake and asleep. Another stream of raging words escape his mouth, they’re words I should be used to by now, words I should expect from this boy, but they still sting. My heart leaps in fear as the boy yells at me for running away, he’s telling me I should have stopped when he said. Black dots dance across my vision as I see his hand raise in the air, ready to come down across my face. I think once more before my world goes black about the boy I love, and how if I was with him, I wouldn’t be so afraid.
© 2012 Olive Belikov
Added on January 8, 2012
Last Updated on January 8, 2012
AboutI am a daughter, a sister, a grand-daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend. I am a partner, a student, a young girl, and a grown woman. I am confident and scared, terrified and excited. I am loving and .. more..