Within Myself

Within Myself

A Poem by kayla
"

attempt at a rap verse

"
Sometimes I look in the mirror
and all I seem to see
is the scared little girl
looking back at me.
And she's searching for answers
to questions she can't find.
She's reciting her history
and analyzing the lines.
But she can't find nothing
cuz it's buried six feet under,
but she's trudged through the storms,
made her way through the thunder.
But she's still not happy,
still can't find any peace.
She looks inside herself,
she looks inside of me.
And yet I still can't comfort her,
she's too surprising and abrupt.
I can't gauge her reactions,
can't get one up.
Right when I think she's okay
she's sobbing and I can't see
the relationship between her
is the one within me.

© 2012 kayla


Author's Note

kayla
My boyfriend told me to try to write a "rap song" so I attempted a verse. Tell me what you think.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

Good job! This is something to keep, a wonderful piece though just your first attempt to write a rap song. I admire your talent. Keep it up.

Posted 11 Years Ago


you did that well! the ending packed a really good punch aswell. i say you keep writing in rap form. you seem pretty comfortable in it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


kayla

11 Years Ago

thanks
I picture Nicki Manaj rapping this :) pretty good so far......u should add 3 more verses and a hook :) then that would be better :D

Posted 11 Years Ago


I love it! Well done!

Posted 11 Years Ago


I really liked it :D god knows I could never rap XD

"but she's trudged through the storms,
made her way through the thunder." I found that to be the strongest point of the song :) Keep it up! :D

Posted 11 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
C.
Very good and very relatable

Posted 11 Years Ago


Nice flow of thoughts in the poem. There are some good rap romantic song. Orange Juice Jones rap song from the eighties is still one of my favorite. This is sad poem. To give life to rap. Must fight back. Thank you for the excellent poem
Coyote

Posted 11 Years Ago


That's pretty cool. Coming from someone who doesn't like rap most times lol.

Posted 11 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

405 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on August 11, 2012
Last Updated on August 13, 2012
Tags: lyric, poem, poetry

Author

kayla
kayla

Los Angeles, CA



About
Becoming active on this site again! Originally started my account as teenager, but am a young woman now with hopefully still just as much to say. I write mostly poetry (but occasionally short stori.. more..

Writing
Familiar Familiar

A Poem by kayla



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


A Murderers Tale A Murderers Tale

A Chapter by xEmix


Where I stand Where I stand

A Poem by Mark