Society

There was a time...

     Not very long ago...

          When love was the prevelant emotion upon this earth.

               When family trumped business...

                    When children weren't hyped up on adderall...

                         And teachers actually cared about what their students learned.

                         This was a time...

                    That nobody seemed to revel in...

               Because events in this golden age were common place.

          No student ever thought about taking a gun to school...

     No student chose video games over their homework...

This was the time that formed today's society.

 

And once upon this time...

     This precious, fleeting time...

          Our fathers, our leaders, our mentors were all children themselves.

               Today's society should frighten us...

                    For what will tomorrow be like?

                         What sort of weapons will our children take to school?

                         And in this time, what types of drugs will these new doctors give our kids?

                    For surely their problems are all psychological...

               They need no attention, it is a learning disability...

          Discretion is needed...

     It is now or never...

To save this world, this is where we must begin.

 

Author's Note

This was written with the intent of being spoken by three different individuals, hence the three colors... The indents on each line imply one voice overspeaking another in a type of fugue... Let me knw your opinion of this...

Reviews

[Dizzy-Izzy]

Since I don't know much about the mechanics of poetry to comment about it's style or form, I comment about the feelings the piece evokes in me.

I really like the poem and I, too, reread it after reading your note.

I have anxieties about today's youth and worry about my kids as well.

My daughter is grown and self-sufficient with a family of her own, but even so I did not worry about her when she was little the way I worry about my sons. I will wonder why that is, on virtual paper here with you if that's okay...

Do you suppose it's a boy versus girl thing? I do think growing up is a more precarious venture for boys than girls but, I think I say that only because I precieve a mans capacity for inflicting damage to himself or others as greater and that is certainly a sexist view.

You ever hear the saying "The hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world?" It's a poem about motherhood by William Ross Wallace.

I feel very responsible for my children's behavior and their success or lack of it... but of the ladder only to a certain degree. There is only so much a mom can do, if you know what I mean.

For all of the sensational crap the media throws in our face about the horrific crimes the kids of our nation commit, there are thousands, no, millions of other kids who are just great, but stories about great kids don't get television ratings or win trophies for journalistic excellence.

As scary as these days feel... I am not sure they are any scarier than when I grew up or when my parents grew up... I talk too much.

Hey have you ever heard of, been to, or seen the/a poetry slam? The Borders has a site with videos of different poets reciting their work and a bit from a "poetry slam" competition. I had never heard of it before but, it is very, very, exciting. I could see you and 2 friends reciting this piece in such a competition. What do you think???

Thanks so much

Kristina

[J. Marc]

Hmmm! Very much in line with Pineapples for Berlin. Yes, because we are faced with so many challenges in our world, we got lost into performance and effectiveness and statistics and have slowly forgotten the spirit that makes us truly human!

[Jeberle]

This is good poem, and I think it would make a great spoken word piece. I'm not so sure about having the readers overlap, but the idea of alternating readers is good. As far as the content, I think the message is good. This is sadly true of the world today and we need more protest poems like this one.

Keep up the good work.

[Constance]

It's always good to see a piece of writing that calls for change. This one brings up some excellent points. You have a novel idea with the form you mention in the author's note, though one can't read it that way unless three people were to read it aloud. I imagine it would make a very nice spoken word piece, if you gathered two friends and recorded it.
I work in education, at a Middle School. Many of the points you mentioned here hit home. I work with at-risk Hispanic youth, as I am bilingual and have experience interacting with the Hispanic community. We have a gang problem rising in our tiny town, and myself, one administrator, and one police officer seem to be the only ones willing to do something about it. Unfortunately, apathy is now the norm, even with adults. Whatever happened to the days when we were teenagers and the grownups complained about OUR apathy?
It will all change... but I hate to think of the things that are going to happen in order to open eyes. All we can do is pray, and try our best to make what bit of difference we can, person by person, learning as we go.
Thank you for posting this. I hope that many people read it, and lose a bit of their apathy.
C

Buddy... It has been so long since I have reviewed your work, but all I can say is, I still loved the pigeon story a lot.

I feel guilty not reviewing your works for so long, they are masterpieces after all, and this is no exception.

You have a great concept here, the form, format, flow, and rhythm are very well done. You have well chosen words, and very well imparted message.

a great piece.

[Emily B]

An impressive, creative piece. Truth can never be said too loudly or too often.

[emmajoy]

I'm all for experimenting with form, especially if it highlights certain aspects of writing both poetry and prose. (ee cummings would probably agree and others whose names escape me but, are currently writing.

I hadn't read your comment before reading your post, but, had worked out the differences in 'voice'.. not one hundred per cent - I'm not that clever... but...

And, what you write... tragically, tragically true. In England we have similar heartbreaking, almost unbelievable problems. As you say, it makes one wonder what's around the corner. Yesterday on the tv news, it showed a recording of street battles, police/firemen/para medics etc., carring away hurt victims or perpertrators of crime. One young man had been burned to death by people about his age. How's that for a so-called civilised society?

Mind you, as long as war is portrayed as being the only way to solve problems, what kind of an example do young people have? As long as violent films are glorified as being the 'must to see this week' - what on earth can we expect.?

Sorry, using your page to rant and preach! See what you've done, got me thinking. God willing more people will do the same.

Great post, thank you.

[Becca]

This is going into my favorites...I reread it after I read your note.
I 'listened' to the words as 3 voices of time resonating as an echo...
By allowing the poem inside...and keep reading it..it vibrates.
Guess it was your turn to bend my mind...and bend you did!
Extraordinary!

[Rainbowco]

Wow, great Idea, very interesting write.

What if each color (conversation) carried a complete thought from beginning to end, so that when each color was read by itself it would be a seperate poem? A poem, within a poem.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I think you did a fantastic job. This is one of my favorites. Thank you for sharing. Debileah