Seasons of Life

Seasons of Life

A Poem by riddhi
"

This is a poem which describes the love of parents towards their children but how today's young generation betrays it.It is also about different stages of our life......

"
An old man sits on a bench thinking,
how like spring once in childhood he too was flowering.
               
                                                         Then came the most busy season of his life - summer,
                                                          Where he has no time to even spread rumour.
                                                           This was the most busiest part,
                                                           As this was the teenage years,when he have to learn science and art.

Then came the rainy season ,
when he had to do college and buy for his wife a nice mansion.

                                                          Then came his life's winter,
                                                          when he had to look for his children's bright future.
                                                          This was the most hustle and bustle part of his life,
                                                           Where he have to settle his children along with his wife.

Finally came the saddest thing,
When with his children he can no longer merrily sing.


                                                        He still remembers how he taught his sons to walk,
                                                        But none among them with him now talk.
                                                        When they were young he supported them,
                                                        But now when he was old none of them supported him.

He was abandoned by all of them,
Because he was now a burden for them.
He cannot control his tears,
remembering the cute scolding he gave to his children by pulling their ears.

                                                      He considered them as his support for his old age,
                                                      but now he waits for his last breath sitting on this bench of old age home...

© 2015 riddhi



Author's Note

riddhi
I believe that as a 15-year old girl i can just motivate my contemporaries and all my friends to respect their parents and return the same love and care which they give us in our childhood in their old age............

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Reviews

I am glad I came across this poem.....trust me your parents would be proud of you if you show them this. It should be shown to those who doesn't value their parents....heart touching....It was perfect.

Posted 5 Months Ago


riddhi

5 Months Ago

Thank you...I am happy you liked it...
Najam Us Saher

5 Months Ago

You're most welcome.
Are we lost twins or something? Cuz your thoughts are matching mine so well! I literally hate those people who don't respect their parents. And I promise you this poem is for sure going in my favorite list, nobody can stop me! It's just so beautiful. The way you compared the man's days with seasons is just so creative. Keep writing and surprising us!


Posted 5 Months Ago


riddhi

5 Months Ago

Oh!!! Thank you so much and i am really happy that you too think in the same way as i think ...May b.. read more
Anjali

5 Months Ago

Haha.... You are welcome!
nice work...keep it up. I am seeing your writing improve and get better with each piece you write. So, keep writing

Posted 1 Year Ago


riddhi

1 Year Ago

Thanks for your review... I am happy that you liked my poem....
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Lox
Hmmm I would like to point out the first parts of this poem. Where you could elaborate his past as "an old man sits by a bench thinking"

it was the spring of his childhood

summer was his busiest time

Rainy seasons is where he went to college and find a way to buy his wife a mansion

then winter where he has children

he recollects all these memories as he grows old "waiting for his last breath"

... is a nice concept, but I think you would elaborate and be a little more specific chronologically.

I would mind that you improve the flow of this poem's timeline.


I don't mean to bash or dishearten you but as a fellow writer, I want you to grow and improve as well by helping you out through feeds on your work so that you may be a better writer.

I really like the idea of this piece, and I'd love to in any way help you out improve it.

Though this is but mere opinion from a nobody.

Good luck!

Posted 1 Year Ago


riddhi

1 Year Ago

Thanks for your review.... I will definitely try to improve and thanks for your suggestions... In my.. read more
Who wrote this poem? You look like the old Blade and Blood, roughly? Have we met? You look older and sophisticated and charming, now, girl!

You go, Girl!

Posted 1 Year Ago


This looks great! Nice looking form! I think I might read this!

Posted 1 Year Ago


Okay, To start off this is a great piece, the imagery is strong and the emotions are easy to connect with.
To be very blunt and honest , I feel that you could have taken this piece to a whole new level because you have the story , emotions and might I say again real vivid imagery. However a little more time invested into brushing up and editing can make this great piece amazing.

A very good write , I wait to read more.

Thank you for sharing
Angad

Posted 1 Year Ago


riddhi

1 Year Ago

I will try my best to fulfill your expectations...Thanks for your kind words....
Very well written, visualization flowed due to such detailed imagery. There were two grammatical errors that I noticed;
1. Line 4, instead of *has, use *had. This establishes past tense consistency.
2. Line 6, insert *had.

Keep writing, sending blessings

Posted 1 Year Ago


riddhi

1 Year Ago

Thanks for reviewing and yes i will definitely try to improve...
honest and innocent........
sadly the truth......
well done......
i liked it!!!
:)

Posted 1 Year Ago


riddhi

1 Year Ago

Thanks for reviewing..i really appreciate it...
Riddi, I enjoyed your use of seasons in the telling of time of a human journey. My favorite line is describing busy summer season, no time to spread even rumor. Excellent, I love it. Your lovely poem does take a hard and sometimes realistic fact of elderly parents being ignored. A just message to people of all countries. I pray your poem plants a seed in many a young person. Many Blessings, Richie

Posted 1 Year Ago


riddhi

1 Year Ago

Really thank you so much and i am happy that you will be among those young persons who will get this.. read more
richieb

1 Year Ago

Riddhi, thank you for the "young persons" compliment. I am 61 years old but I am young at heart and .. read more

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Added on December 23, 2015
Last Updated on December 23, 2015

Author

riddhi
riddhi

India



About
I am a 15 year old girl who wants to serve humanity more..

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