Bells

grammar/glossary, flow, praise, critique--- All very welcome :=)

 BELLS

 

There used to be these bells

Tolling and chiming metallically

In electrified air

And they would summon and ignite

Every fiber of these robes and bones

And the red rooster

Would crow in that high-pitched heat

 

And I would be thoroughly stirred

 Charged with the metallic nutrition

 Of blissful bells

And electric, vivid air

Spinning me in the manic motions of a thirties- film-reel

 

Now

All tensions have been released

And the bells

Are buried under hollow, hesitant airs

The rooster sits

Mute and

Stares

 

The armchair is comfortable

Here

All passions are neglected

I’ve grown my nails and hair

You should try to feel, what it’s like

 To be tame

 

The Rooster

Who remains on the spiral stair

Has caught an awful cold

It sometimes tries

To elevate its comb

With the usual, youthful pride

Then it looks at me

Arms, hanging limp

From each side of the armchair

Yes, it’s still dark, feathered friend

It is still very dark

You should rest your red throat and comb

 

If anyone should mention

Women

Or

The city

I will have to laugh

 

This is the quarry of the heart

 

 

Author's Note

An afternoon-meditation.
grammar/glossary, flow, praise, critique--- All very welcome :=)

Reviews

[Elly_Green]

I like this a lot! I find it hard to often support my reasoning to create new words when the perfect one does not yet exist - I see you do too: "metallically."

May I mention that I find your use of imagery incredible? This line, specifcally, speaks of a particular thought in mind: "Spinning me in the manic motions of a thirties- film-reel"

One more thing. Depression or suicide?

[V]

I like the writing style and the kind of subtle emotions that flow within your words. The combination of simple things/words and the form you chose makes it interesting to read.

[icelandicblue]

There is so much life exhibited in the sound of the bells, but like life itself, they slow fade and finally mute. I can feel the meditative quality that you speak of in this piece.

[Neville]

What a positive outcome from a single afternoons meditation. I would have been proud to have written this myself, very proud indeed. N

[Shaquana Adams]

An excellent poem. Simple brilliant!

[Lyn Anderson]

The imagery and metaphor connect up well in this piece, lending a sense of angst, anxiety, desperation to the piece.

[Ruth]

Excellent! Reflective and acceptance, damn brilliant! x

[Blue]

I love your style. I can't exactly pinpoint why but your poetry is of quality. Great work, K.N.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

Haha :) You certainly don't have to! Thanks for the kind words!

[Lloyd Frieson-Small]

Very introspective and raw. The imagery of this succeeds and has served its purpose beyond congratulation.

[K.N. Lorenzen]

My utmost gratitude, Oncecoveted. I'm so glad you liked it :)