MY FAVOURITE MYSTERY

05 20 12

The coming of my sense of mystery
will not be undone in tune
with the liberation dance your skin
executes on the carcass of
your hardline clothing

The only mystery
I conjure from the uniformity
of man's and woman's anatomies
is where your line of vision will reside
when I come with mind-sharpened shear
to pluck the sweet roots
of your virgin vineyard

My ascending ecstasy will not stumble
should you keep your vision to yourself
in compensation for the lid
you let me peel like an orange
in the sunlight of fundamental Eden

Should you keep your vision to yourself
mine will be fulfilled by any hint of
synergy between your breathing mouth
and my jackhammering hips
or the textural strobe lights
of my seeking palms and the
follow-through of my corralling fingers

All I strive for in the sheet
swaddling your goosebumped shell
is illuminating clues from the
smuggling of your fugitive desire

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

i love how your words were able to spin a web of such tender lascivious imagery that
burns in minds and sets one's imagination on fire.

incredible use of language...very unique in depicting one's awakening desires... that aches
to finally be quenched.

simply a brilliant write, Mr. K. -- i agree it's definitely gotten hotter in here lol!
thanks for sharing! :)

[kublakhan27]

Nice to see you again Miss Barrie :) So glad you enjoyed this piece...not much I can say about it really, it's all in the poem haha Let's just say it feels good to get these things out once in a while...thank you as always my friend :)

[ms. barrie]

Aw, thank you Steve, it's nice seeing you again as well :) -- I very much enjoyed it indeed!
oh it's definitely all in the poem haha! It's a great write and a pleasure to read. I hear
you on that lol -- you're very welcome, my friend. :))

[paul sal.....]

being old, I could almost envision a hard on....fertile imagination, no doubt, made some dear lady pregnant ...

[kublakhan27]

Haha Yes my imagination is most fertile...thank you Paul.

[Lyn Anderson]

Umm, darling, you may have to go back and flag some of your earlier writes. I love this one!

[kublakhan27]

Haha That's a good point K, I'm glad you mentioned that...so glad you enjoyed this one :)

[Nick.B]

Interesting topic you've managed to point out here, a good poem, finding the truth or the absolute is untouchable, great job

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Nick, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Dana Alsamsam]

loved these:
"in compensation for the lid
you let me peel like an orange
in the sunlight of fundamental Eden"
i always end up using fruit in my poetry in cases of intimacy...coincidence? i think not. i loved the sensual sort of questioning vibe that you present in this piece.

my one criticism would be to cut down on your adjective use. you have so many lovely words, but when you use too many it obscures the beauty hidden in simplicity:
"synergy between your breathing mouth
and my jackhammering hips
or the textural strobe lights
of my seeking palms and the
follow-through of my corralling fingers"
these are beautiful images, but there are so many description words that your image gets slightly befuddled. great job overall! as always, i loved it :)

[kublakhan27]

This is an older piece so I was still trying to find my voice, that's probably why there is so much description in this one...I'm glad you liked it though...thank you Dana :)

[Donald Meikle]

It was an apple Steve, I know. apples 'n' oranges. Hammering hips are eyeless too.

[kublakhan27]

I know, I just went with the orange to put my own spin on it...the connection between eyes and hips may be a little vague but I was trying to convey an image of watching the hips in motion.

[Paige H]

This was very good and a very metaphoric rendering of your subject matter. I quite enjoyed the way you approached each sentence, clearly constructing it making each word very intentional. Nice job!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you my friend :)

[Angi]

Steve, oh Steve. Is it hot in here?! Maybe I should be wearing less clothes ;P

[kublakhan27]

Haha maybe, maybe ;P

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is so well designed metaphorically...

that idea of wanting another person but that person is so closed up in hard clothing, as you put it.

just can't get through...i love "smuggling of fugitive desire"

your analogies are keen, your wording is genius...

be back for more.

jacob

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Jacob...feel free to send RRs anytime :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks, i tend not to send RR's but if you care to stop by my page...just pick one...:)

jacob

[kublakhan27]

Will do :)