MAYBE THERE'S A COUNTDOWN

For the first time in my life, there was something that DEMANDED to be written. 03 12 12

Maybe it's to a melody refusing to be caught by underground ears.  Maybe it's to the season of a plot line soiled by writers gone nonchalant in acknowledgement of bookends on the comfort of a day job enacted by millions after work.  Maybe it's to a bun of freshly-baked bread blindsided by the murderous stubbornness of a maverick slab of yeast.  Maybe it's to the most consensus-serving definition of a natural cycle that agrees itself into the most consensus-serving definition of real.  Maybe it's to a launch deemed delayed enough to oversee an epitaphic booster while engineers and managers appall each other with their meteorology skills.  Maybe it's to the amplified unfurling of a welcome mat for next January, drowning out the sonically-challenged breathing pattern of a patriarch stretching on the bench of next December in hopes of the successoral January's trusted thrusting into overtime.  Maybe there's a countdown not comprised of nerves in numbers, but it's turned itself inside-out to partake in the egg-timer euphemism of growing up.  The sole discernible apparition of growth I see is in the ultrasound theater of a throbbing womb.  An anomalistically triumphant womb. 

Reviews

[Androglossia]

Maybe it's to the amplified unfurling of a welcome mat for next January, drowning out the sonically-challenged breathing pattern of a patriarch stretching on the bench of next December in hopes of the successoral January's trusted thrusting into overtime. Maybe there's a countdown not comprised of nerves in numbers, but it's turned itself inside-out to partake in the egg-timer euphemism of growing up.

---- And maybe the new journey of the patriarch is indeed the successoral January's signal to a new phase, a new season, a new value and maybe leaving was a perfect euphemism of a new beginning.

The sole discernible apparition of growth I see is in the ultrasound theater of a throbbing womb. An anomalistically triumphant womb.

--- Ah! But the ego, the stubborness of it. The clouded mind may deny but the heart knows what it feels and what is true and feelings could never be wrong.

I could not say more but I understand. Everything will fall into place in time.

[kublakhan27]

Very good and significant points...in light of our past conversations, I've gained a sizable appreciation for your ability to present an alternate - or at least more positive - viewpoint to the ones I have presented. The way you describe the patriarch's journey is especially moving...thank you as always for steering me towards a path of practical and spiritual productivity. :)

[Androglossia]

You are very welcome! I am glad that I was able to provide you with such positive viewpoint and thankful at the same time for accepting it wholeheartedly:) Not everyone readily accepts anything offered regardless of its purpose.

[kublakhan27]

:) I used to be very stubborn on such matters...I've since been able to work that down to mild stubbornness haha You are obviously an exemption to this principle...I'm sounding like a broken record now, but you just understand me and always seem to know where I'm coming from in any scenario that presents itself. And so it is easy for me to accept any kind of advice you offer on any facet of the so-called Human Condition, unconditionally lol :)

[Androglossia]

Lol, that's totally fine, we can all be broken records specially when we are so in tuned with our deeper feelings. And I believe you just opened up a very important matter with me and I am very grateful that despite of not knowing me personally, you have that sense of trust which enabled you to open up regardless. And that I need to protect. There was this dialogue on a chapter of my book that goes like this:

“So what’s in your mind?” Ivanne casually asked.

“A lot of things.”

“A lot of things can be subjective.” Ivanne heard Selena chuckled and felt the amusement in her voice.

“There are things we’d rather left unsaid if it can affect our lives in a negative way. And I have many things inside my head I’d rather keep.”

“You know, I agree with you on that. But we can’t keep everything a secret for the rest of our lives. If you keep storing new secrets over the old ones, they will keep piling up. Our mind is limitless but our body isn't. It can break you down.” Ivanne was surprise with herself but she felt that everything just flowed naturally without so much deliberation. She didn’t hear Selena say a word nor disagree.

“Sometimes you need to find that outlet to be able to breath and to be able to act normally without so many pretenses.” Ivanne continued. She somehow realized that she was hit by her own words. There was a minute of silence.

Do you agree with me on this?

[Androglossia]

Do you agree with me on this? -this is me already talking to you, lol.

[MOON]

Maybe this is very clever , love this piece of prose full of unique twsits and turns . Love most of your turn of phrase especially Maybe it's to the amplified unfurling of a welcome mat for next January, drowning out the sonically-challenged breathing pattern of a patriarch stretching on the bench of next December in hopes of the successoral January's trusted thrusting into overtime. Inspired.

[kublakhan27]

Thanks very much, and there was a lot of inspiration behind this piece for sure. As I mentioned in the intro, it's the first time I was dealing with something that just demanded to be written. The reason for this is that it was written upon hearing the news of my father's cancer, which he fought off successfully a few years ago before it returned this year and was terminal this time. I rarely mention that for the simple reason that I don't want people to feel bad, plus I don't want people to feel obligated to say anything on it. One of the parts is also a loose reference to the Challenger shuttle disaster from 1986 and the events leading up to it. So I'm very happy and relived that you and others have liked this piece cuz it does mean a lot to me and I'd be hurt if people didn't like it :)

[MOON]

Thanks for the explanation , now I read with new eye and the lines I quoted makes perfect sense and yes I see the reference to the Challenger Disaster too. Really good writing great depth.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you again, it means a lot :)

[Poison Ivy]

very deep, i want to give this a more in depth review when i get back from my appointment. :)

[kublakhan27]

Oh ok, thank you in the meantime :)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

MAYBE THERE'S A COUNTDOWN. MAYBE ITS TO...

[QUE BACKGROUND SFX, QUE MUSIC, QUE NARRATOR: {Roger that Houston. Clear to go. Commence sequence... on my mark.}]

7 - a melody refusing to be caught by underground ears. [QUE National Anthem for sewer vermin.]

6 - the season of a plot line soiled by writers gone nonchalant in acknowledgement of bookends on the comfort of a day job enacted by millions after work. [CLOSEUP of guy watching TV and shouting to his wife in the kitchen, "Honey! Can you bring me another beer?"]

5 - a bun of freshly-baked bread blindsided by the murderous stubbornness of a maverick slab of yeast. [QUE JINGLE, FADE IN, CLOSEUP OF TABLE, QUE ANNOUNCER: "Does this happen to you too?]

4 - the most consensus-serving definition of a natural cycle that agrees itself into the most consensus-serving definition of real. [PAN CAMERA OVER STILL SHOT OF POST-APOCALYPTIC GARBAGE DUMP]

3 - a launch deemed delayed enough to oversee an epitaphic booster while engineers and managers appall each other with their meteorology skills. [WIDE ANGLE OF LAUNCH VEHICLE WITH GEESE AND STORM CLOUDS]

2 - the amplified unfurling of a welcome mat for next January, drowning out the sonically-challenged breathing pattern of a patriarch stretching on the bench of next December in hopes of the successoral January's trusted thrusting into overtime.[QUE FUNERAL PROCESSION, CLOSE UP OF OLD MAN ON PARK BENCH COVERED IN NEWSPAPERS]

1 - a countdown not comprised of nerves in numbers, but it's turned itself inside-out to partake in the egg-timer euphemism of growing up. The sole discernible apparition of growth I see is in the ultrasound theater of a throbbing womb. An anomalistically triumphant womb.[QUE HEARTBEAT, ORANGE FILTER, CLOSEUP OF FETUS SUCKING THUMB, FADE TO FIELD OF WILDFLOWERS WAVING IN SLIGHT BREEZE ON CLEAR SUNNY DAY]

0 - MAYBE THERE'S A COUNTDOWN [ROLL CREDITS, FADE MUSIC, FADE TO BLACK]

[kublakhan27]

Holy cow...you really thought this over...I've never gotten a review like this before...damn, I'm speechless...this will take a while to sink in, and will probably require multiple re-reads, but looking over it twice on the verge of bedtime, it looks like a pretty fascinating adaptation...man, I'm impressed O_O

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

Kubi, you're (almost) too kind. But I'm not too proud to take your charity. I find that 3/4 of the time I am forced to simply "react" to your work as opposed to truly grokking it. I'm just not up to your skill level. But, I'll keep studying you and keep trying. Who knows, I might even learn something along the way. One can only hope. :o)

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

Love this, the meter,the phrases, reminds me a bit of Tom Robins, great great piece, a wonderful commentary on the overall arch of life,great write

[kublakhan27]

Haha I never thought of him being a factor before but it's true now that I look at it...very glad you like it^^

[Ella]

Awh! Love this, so cute! :) Well done Stevie :)

[kublakhan27]

Thanks I'm glad you like it :)

[Ella]

How couldn't I? It is beautiful!

[kublakhan27]

:)