AN ODE HAS FALLEN ILL

12 30 10

I've been married
to this left margin
ever since my handwriting
overthrew my fingers
and vaulted the burlesque
autonomy of scribble
over jagged nail Rockies
of prescription slips
into the indifferent
trampoline of typed receipts

A lazy palm walked me
up the crimson aisle flanked
to the right by an ink
blue congregation
No exotic shaped
honeymoons in wordy poems
indecipherable
to undressing eyes

Then I met a girl

an acrylic shepherdess
amid a pony-maned pasture
of graphite prospering beneath
a canopy of wax rainbow

When I tried to speak
my throat catapulted
every word I ever wrote
up and through
my epileptic mouth
in congealed dollops
of belated blue
Rubber trees uppercutted
the revolted earth
like crewcutted zombies
summoned by a jealous bride
to remiss the infidelity
brewing in my brain
in the shape of regret
over never learning
how to speak in circles

Forgive me
shepherdess of spectrum
Words never sleep

Author's Note

A semi-recent piece (the last one I wrote in 2010) that I've been sitting on due to concerns over what I deem to be a self-indulgent piece...rubber trees, for instance, is driving me crazy and I HAVE to change that at some point...but I guess I'll find out soon enough if my concerns are valid or not.

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

Those first six lines could have been ripped from my own brain, Steve...just saying ;-) You know, I always find myself just sitting for a while after reading you, staring at the empty review box, my own eyes staring back at me, that quirky little smirk daring me to say something clever or profound...sometimes the words flow easily, because what you write touches me in places that have not been touched since I put down my old dog eared copy of Planet News in April of 1997 in reverent mourning...other times, like now maybe, the words don't come so easily because I honestly don't believe anything I say could even come close to how this piece made me feel. You don't just have the soul of a beatnik, you have the talent to back it up. I humbly bow to this write, and so many many many of your others. And I am so thrilled to get the opportunity to witness your voice on a daily basis. And I hope you know me well enough to know I ain't just blowing smoke up your a*s. You are the real deal.

[kublakhan27]

*blush again* My friend, you have no idea how much your praise means to me, and how inspiring it can be in times when the mind is not as prolific as I'd like it to be...just as you get stuck on reviews sometimes, I am equally stuck, if not moreso, in trying to find the words to express this gratitude...it comes as no surprise to me that there are lines here that remind you of yourself...we're pretty familiar with each others' work now to the extent that I consider you an influence of mine...thank you dear friend for all of this :) xo I found a slight bit of irony here as well in the fact that I wrote my first poem in '97 ;)

[KAOlmsted]

You began writing the year Ginsberg died...as though he passed on the torch...it all makes perfect sense to me now ;-)

You're welcome, Steve. You deserve every word of this and every last one of them I could not quite articulate. And I'm deeply moved you consider my humble little offerings influential. Thank you for that.

Now. Is this f*****g love fest over? Can I get back to being my usual bitchy, sardonic self? xD

xoxo < 3 < 3 < 3

[kublakhan27]

Very interesting, I've got some of his little books here...I haven't read them a whole lot but I must have read just enough to channel him a bit ;)

There can never be too much love my dear...but we are poets so I guess the latter emotions come more naturally ;P Thank you again Kim for everything :) xoxo XD

[Frieda P]

Will you two get a fooking room already!?

[kublakhan27]

LOL Will you come too?

[Frieda P]

Hahaha now what can I say that's acceptable on the live feed?!!

[KAOlmsted]

Just say yes ;-)

[Frieda P]

Ha that goes without saying, there was something else I ...oh never mind, I'll tell you both later ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

ooh...

[Frieda P]

bring the soup Gordon ;-) I'm sure we'll think of something....

[kublakhan27]

I'm all ears ;)

[KAOlmsted]

xD I am so tempted to post that...people will think I've gone off the deep end, though...oops, sorry Steve, for using your thread to chit chat...my bad ;-)

[Frieda P]

You have to post it!!! It's the funniest thing I've read in a long time....and it's educational....ha!

[kublakhan27]

Haha I feel like I'm being left out of an inside joke now :P But feel free to use my thread at will ;)

[KAOlmsted]

I posted it!!!!! xD

It's a recipe, Steve...go read it if you please, I just posted it ;-)

[Frieda P]

I'm sending it to Gordon, he'll probably sue your sweet arse! ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

Ha! He doesn't own that beautiful word ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha I have to leave for hockey now but I'll check it out as soon as I get back ;D

[Frieda P]

That's too funny, I had one of his recipes in my photo's not sure if it's still there, you need a recipe card with your picture on it now! ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

xD

[Jack...]

This is very cool and easily digested. The thoughts scream in loud whispers of what I see hanging around me most of the time. I liked this and the visions it produced. In reading your Author's Note, Rubbertrees to me seems fine but perhaps, uprooted might sing a little better than uppercutted. Just my op...

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Jack, I'm glad you like it, and I take all critical suggestions into account :)

[Augustus]

I think this is a remarkably clever poem and a remarkable clever title. The flow of this poem very quickly spirals out of control. One has to start anew at every stanza. I felt as if I had taken up a pen and was continuously drawing arabesque patterns on paper without getting anywhere. And this particular "form" (if I may call it that) of the poem mirrors perfectly the anxiety, uncertainty and incoherence in the poets mind, which evidently translates into his speech as well. I think this is a wonderful use of technique. To drive the message home with the sheer flow of the poem....
My favourite lines here are from the first stanza. In fact I love the first stanza in its entirety. It immediately sets the tone for what is to come.
Overall, this is exceptionally intelligent and unique writing. Well done!

[kublakhan27]

I'm usually much more militant when it come to flow, as my friends will attest to, but I was trying for a different feel here to reflect the erratic tendencies you touched on, hence the breaking up of the poem into stanzas, which I normally don't do...I'm glad you were able to read so deeply into this piece and find the meanings that lurk between the lines...many thanks for the in-depth review and compliments :)

[Augustus]

You're most welcome! :) I have reviewed one other poem of yours and the style there was very different. Putting your subject into context here, I could immediately grasp what you were trying to achieve. And like I said, you succeeded.
Cheers!
Shreyas

[kublakhan27]

I was looking at your inspirations and they're almost identical to mine, with the English Romantics (esp. Wordsworth and Coleridge) representing my favourite literary period...I think the other one you read was an older one so I was still formulating a voice at that time...this one I think is much more reflective of my voice, notwithstanding those elements mentioned earlier :) Thanks again friend :)

[Augustus]

Oh! It is so good to find a fellow fan of the English Romantics! Their impact in shaping my style has been immense. In fact I wrote a proper Ode today. I hope it isn't ill though!
I'm sure I'll get a clearer idea of your poetic style as I read more of you. :)
Cheers!

[kublakhan27]

:) I just seem to relate to them, emotionally and technically...Feel free to send RRs if there's anything you'd like to share, I find it hard to keep up with individual posts :)

[Augustus]

I suppose you could start with my latest, if you're interested. It's called "Ode to a Butterfly". I'll send an RR anyway, if you prefer it that way. :) Thanks!

[Pax]

I am speechless.... breathless as i read it along the fluen lines... amazing!
Kimmer is right... your a talented fellow and friend... you expressed something brilliant and profound... the imagery is mind-blowing... the fast phase of phrase is engaging..:D
awesome!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much my friend, your support means the world :)

[The 13th Eros]

I am thankful you gave words to your profound expression.. emotions so vast and powerful. This was like a song.. a confession of love and light that makes life so worth living. A shepherdess of spectrum can do that to one.

[kublakhan27]

Haha she can indeed...thank you for the kind words Eros :)

[Frieda P]

Have read this like five times now and it takes me to a different place each time...I think these are your unadulterated thoughts, perhaps marred or you feel they are somewhat diluted by some toxic substance. I will ponder this for the rest of the day, you know that! You are brilliant my dear friend. We'll talk later....x

[kublakhan27]

It always makes me happy to know that my writing takes you to different places and makes you think about it :) I can assure you there were no substances involved in the making of this poem haha ;P Thank you as always my sweet, you know your support means everything :)

[Frieda P]

Ha I better stop reading you literally in some instances then...I should know better!

over jagged nail Rockies
of prescription slips
into the indifferent
trampoline of typed receipts'

Sounded familiar....!

[kublakhan27]

Well Quin recently referred to me as Mr. Metaphor...nuff said ;P And I'm sure it does haha ;P

[KeeD]

I think you're the most profound poet I've come across on this site, your ability to write such marvels, always leaves me at a loss for words. This is truly impressive. Great job

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Keegan, I've said it before but I cherish your reviews more than I can express...I always look forward to hearing from you :)

[s y e]

Wow, I loved this! You are a very talented poet for sure! Well done!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Noodle, I do appreciate that :)

[s y e]

Anytime!

[Pete Langley]

If you saw a flax plant growing in a field, there is no way you wuld associate that insignificant weed with the finely woven perfection of a beautiful linen tablecloth. The ability to turn the raw material into a word tapestry is rare. Kube. P.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you as always Pete for the kind words :)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Somewhere, perhaps in a distant future time, someone finds a dusty bottle; a curl of yellowed paper within. Fishing it out they read these words. Our Khan is long since dust but these... these memories, these words are forever and "... words never sleep."

[kublakhan27]

Many thanks my friend...this is one of those reviews that make me feel like my writing means something :)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

Phbbbt! Of course it does!!

[kublakhan27]

:)