UNFAIR GROUNDS

UNFAIR GROUNDS

A Poem by kublakhan27
"

06 18 13

"
I. What If I Wish

What if I wish
not to sleep
What if I endeavour
not to invest
in the optimism of
the digital finality of
midnight pills and
cloudy glasses
What if I pretend
to live numberless
and pulverize
integer conformity
What if I could
What then
if I did

What a joke

II. To Forget Midnight

I write
to forget midnight

(New Year's Eve
Are you listening?)

Keep the stars
Screw the mysteries
and theories that
impale the firmament
like a junkie dart
in a dead callus

III. For Cotton Candy?

What if cotton candy
penetrated self-inflicted
metaphors of malaise
with a lemon-shaded
downpour of sucrose
instead of ashen
thunderclouds evaporating
like amusement park
con artists

Keep the embryonic
morning quilt of clouds
seasoned with the
cross-breed insinuation
of swiss cheese and
cotton candy

New Year's Eve
Are you listening?

IV. What A Joke, or 12:01

I write
to get on with
the next day at a time

© 2013 kublakhan27


Author's Note

kublakhan27
Captcha: overfear


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Featured Review

A lot to ponder here, amazing. What if the numbers on that clock had no meaning, and time did not dictate our existence... if everything that looked sweet actually was... if one day at a time didn't need to be one minute at a time.

Some thoughts your words have given me - I don't know if these were the intended concepts, but that's what is so great about poetry. I am impressed with this!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

There were many things swirling around in my head when I wrote this one, none of them good unfortuna.. read more



Reviews

This took me back to my convo with a friend about how time became our greatest enemy and how it often wins. I was thinking that in life, the greatest challenge is not facing our greatest fear nor winning over our other selves, our dominant essential being. The greatest challenge is keeping pace with time. There is a lot of things to ponder on this write, Steve and as always, you haven't failed to keep my mind at work:)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Another thing you've heard me allude to regularly is the fear of where my head would be if I didn't .. read more
Androglossia

10 Years Ago

Oh, I'm pretty sure I will still find your head above your shoulders ;D It is technically our heads .. read more
kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Haha I don't know how my shoulders have borne the weight of my psyche all these years ;D
Your metaphors are masterful

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Thank you, that means a lot^^
A lot to ponder here, amazing. What if the numbers on that clock had no meaning, and time did not dictate our existence... if everything that looked sweet actually was... if one day at a time didn't need to be one minute at a time.

Some thoughts your words have given me - I don't know if these were the intended concepts, but that's what is so great about poetry. I am impressed with this!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

There were many things swirling around in my head when I wrote this one, none of them good unfortuna.. read more
Wow, Hon. I really like: "What if cotton candy
penetrated self-inflicted
metaphors of malaise
with a lemon-shaded
downpour of sucrose
instead of ashen
thunderclouds evaporating
like amusement park
con artists". Puts me in mind of the work of healing the inner child. Thanks. Xo.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

:) There was certainly a lot of healing involved in the process of getting this piece written...so g.. read more
I really enjoyed these groups of poems and the very unique way you described your depression with words such as Embryonic and Lemon-Shaded. I also enjoyed how each one was a gradual build onto the last one, only by reading the last stanza does the entire picture become clear. Good write.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Thank you my friend, glad you like it and understand where I was coming from.
'What if cotton candy
penetrated self-inflicted
metaphors of malaise
with a lemon-shaded
downpour of sucrose
instead of ashen
thunderclouds evaporating
like amusement park
con artists '

This is probably my favorite stanza I've read this week.

Especially in a heavily metaphorical collection, and ESPECIALLY following a really low toned stanza about 'junkie darts and callus'', this stanza just comes off so fantastically 'what if' in juxtoposition.

What if instead. Cotton Candy?
Even then it's still a con.

Goddd. Great work.



Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Thank you for your praise Sandbox, it means a lot :)
My mind doesn't know quite what to make of this. It is...beyond me.

That doesn't happen often.

-Caradoc

Posted 10 Years Ago


Caradoc

10 Years Ago

You're very welcome.
Caradoc

10 Years Ago

Hey my friend, congratulations! Your goal has been met. Twenty reviews on one piece!
kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Haha thank you friend...I noticed that just a little while ago...I will whine no longer, not about t.. read more
Its what I love to read

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Glad you liked it, many thanks.
My what if's become more convoluted as the clock ticks later. There was a time when id write till three or four in the morning. But work and life got in the way. Sad but we roll with the punches and take what we can get I guess. Fantastic write here. ;-)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

I hear that...if I didn't know how convoluted my questions got with the passing of age and time, I k.. read more
What a good write my friend, the so many "What if's" in this do make me truly ponder, for I'm a "What if-er" too. I always say; "True art never sleeps" for I meet you there my friend ;) this fight, or inner fight is hard at times, but on days we have rest, we can look backwards for what we have produced... do you know what I mean? :) It's a perfect way here to protest, or to say no: "to all civil manifests" that's what I got from this, as infact it's just a normal day, and each and every night, we pass midnight... Again here I see the 3 stanza brilliance, back from the last time I mailed you that example, that's fantastic. The psychadellic music of Styx is fantastic here, "reminds me of one of my meetings with Dionysos" LOL ;)

Great work my friend, you never dissapoint me. xoxo

- Elisa

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

10 Years Ago

The way you bring music here, is the same, as I do, for I, "Or bring music after a write I wrote" or.. read more
kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

:D xo

10 Years Ago

Sleep well my dear friend xoxo :) till the next episode :D

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24 Reviews
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Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on June 18, 2013
Last Updated on June 18, 2013

Author

kublakhan27
kublakhan27

Nova Scotia, Canada



About
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review. www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..

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