BETRAYAL ON THE ROCKS

09 10 13

This orgasm

begging to get out

of my system

will have to wait

till the final mouthful

of salvation

is eliminated from

the dream of

the final glass

that forebodes

emptiness

What comes first?

An imagination

drowned in loneliness

or a drunken

sleep of resignation

coated in the salivation

of a drool

limp and damp

clamming up a cheek

immune to comfort

sleeping off

the slavery of realism?

Reviews

[quixotic_rose]

HOLY, THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS. Seriously, this was just so....idk I feel like it just grabbed ahold of me and would not let go. I read this four times over. The imagery I got from this was amazing, the emotions so provocative and astonishing. The whole meaning I got out of this was just...Complete awe right now. I read it and found two different perspectives in it, I love each one I had. The beginning really dragged me in haha "This orgasm" wow packed that punch! 5 stars, thumbs up, pat on the back, bravo my friend!

[kublakhan27]

Wow, you have left me humbled and speechless my friend. There are no words to express how tickled I am that you enjoyed it so much. Reading your review, I had a big smile on my face :) Thank you so much, your words mean more than you know :)

[quixotic_rose]

I'm glad my words at least give a positive impact. When I really enjoy a writing I try to let the writer know just how much by spazzing out in the most gracious of ways haha. ANYTIME

[kublakhan27]

Haha Well your spazzing has made my day ;)

[Anand Sehgal]

What comes first?

An imagination

drowned in loneliness

or a drunken

sleep of resignation

coated in the salivation


Highest form of imperative expressionism. Great work .

[kublakhan27]

So glad you enjoyed it, thank you Anand.

[Augustus]

An incredibly potent rant. Staggering metaphors, sharp rhetoric and so much bitterness! I am amazed by how much power you can pack in your words. The words literally scream at the reader from the screen. The phrase "sleeping off the slavery of realism" is so stark it drives the message home like a dagger piercing the heart. I'm a gentle mild sort of fellow who's had a comfy life so I can't even begin to comprehend the agony portrayed here. But I can definitely reaffirm the poetic merit of its portrayal. This is as good as raw emotion can get. Stunning!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much, you've humbled me with your kind words :) The piece did come from a dark place, so I'm glad I was able to relay that feel.

[Augustus]

Yeah... I gathered as much. I hope you find light soon, or have already!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you my friend, I see specks of light here and there haha

[Jack...]

This one cuts like a knife, a dull, rusted knife slicing in reckless abandon. Opening wounds of thought and unleashing the pain of minds set adrift by a longing or a need that remains unfulfilled. Very cool Steve, this came on hard and ended with a scream...even during a silent sleep.

[kublakhan27]

Haha yeah a lot of my stuff has been written with a knife lately...hopefully I'll be able to write something to stitch the wounds soon...thank you Jack :)

[Dye]

I real enjoyed this. It has a raw emotion with it, and I read it as someone that was irritated and annoyed. Like fed up and tired of being lonely maybe? Either way, I liked the way it read and moved me along. Nicely penned.

[kublakhan27]

I'd like to leave some wiggle room for interpretation but I have to say you've pretty much nailed it in your assessment haha Thank you Dye :)

[Dye]

Wow, I'm on a role tonight. That makes two! LOL Happy to have read it the way you intended.

[Keith]

Man that's charged with powerful emotion. Down and our with no sign of relief.

[kublakhan27]

Unfortunately that's exactly how I was feeling at the time, but I guess it makes for great poetry haha Thanks Keith :)

[Melobldnfr]

My, my. This is telling. If I knew the answer, I would not keep it from you. A very good question indeed.

[kublakhan27]

Somehow I figured this was something you could relate to...thank you my friend.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

A stark piece... I like the grit of this one; you wrote with a sort of frenzied fervor that showed intrinsic strength and depth. I love the emotion inffused in this one. In reading I kept coming back to the internal feeling (and question) of "what is this all for" (in terms of life), and I like your piece as a metaphor for that. This feels like an eruption of emotion to me, and it is pieces like this one that always hit me the hardest. Well done, as always, my friend!

[kublakhan27]

Nice to see you again Sarah :) Not that you would have missed anything to do with me...this and a lot of my previous pieces says a lot about where my head has been lately...as usual you're spot-on with your observations...it makes me happy to know there's someone out there who is so in tune with my words...thank you my friend :)

[redflutterby]

Lost in loneliness...that abyss is so deep and dark. So hard to lift yourself up once you're there. I know all to well. ;-/

[kublakhan27]

You are a kindred spirit my friend...I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone but I'm glad you could relate to it...thank you Red :)

[B-poet]

I loved the complexity of this write. You've touched & conveyed upon some strong emotional
feelings in a profound & intriguing way within this piece. Great work. A riveting read. :)

[kublakhan27]

Glad you enjoyed it and were able to tap into the emotions of it, thanks B :)