PASS THE SYRUP

PASS THE SYRUP

A Poem by kublakhan27
"

03 29 14

"
Olive branches smother and dismember
in the mud giggling in time
with the squish emanating from
my alternating huff and puff
footprints

I trudge in Winter's sweat of
schizophrenic rain
My old defence, sheepish stolidity,
got tweaked in a twist-up
tight as a candy cane
with a modest gasp
of underground success

That shadowy hush of acknowledgement
ballooned in my ear like a blow fish
amplifying the environmental inertia
that never made me happier
nor this sad

I may have been mad
walking from informed opinions
like a failed Orpheus
but defence shouted in silence
and I returned home
to the unconditional support
of a pet art

Acknowledgement's shadowy hush
tore a blister trail down my back
The ointment of Winter will soothe and
release me before billing me
with a scar and littering in the recycle bin
of who I want to be

Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared

© 2014 kublakhan27


Author's Note

kublakhan27

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Ahhh...Steve. I know where this one comes from and its sadness makes me sigh. I would hug you but youre too far away. Sweetie you dont want to be feared...theres no good in that. You just want to feel accepted and acknowledged. You dont need to look much farther then right here for that. You are an amazing poet and a wonderful friend. ;-)

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

You have brought a smile to my face and my heart my dear friend...I don't think hearts smile but you.. read more



Reviews

Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared

This one really reached me. Splendid write.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

9 Years Ago

Thanks so much Pryde...it's a pretty personal piece so I'm happy that it spoke to you.
That title - ironically bitter. Facing lack of acceptance, or perceived as such, because we cannot accept ourselves. Being admired is nice, but being feared makes us feel powerful... Thoughtful and thought-provoking, Steve. My favorite lines:
I returned home
to the unconditional support
of a pet art

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

9 Years Ago

The cycle feels endless when it comes to me my friend, but I think I accept myself a little more eve.. read more
Wonderful surreal, schizophrenic rain ...love that...great piece hun :) x

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

9 Years Ago

Thanks so much Tia :) x
Original verses and words put together~

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Thanks very much Josie :)
Loved the schizophrenic rain line; loved the entire poem!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

So glad you enjoyed it Michael, thank you :)
I love every carefully chosen word placed on each line of perfect imagery. This is one piece that I must add to my library. I really enjoyed your term "schizophrenic rain".

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Thanks so much Phoenix, this one is pretty personal so I'm glad it spoke to you on such a deep level.. read more
The opinions of others is so important to some people that they miss being their own person, I have learned this the hardest way, nobody really gives a s**t past their own desires of who they think you should be or act or believe, be who you want to be anything else is icing, if you want to be feared, or revered, or invisable find your comfort zone, someone like you will be there to lean on in any case.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

The sad thing is that I keep thinking I've learned, then once I start to feel better about myself, I.. read more
Corset

10 Years Ago

my pleasure :)
Incredible write and the imagery was vicious, coming at my mind like gang busters and I like it. I want to read it over and over just for the high...it feed my poetic soul that's always looking for a new fix and reading this was the perfect pick me up. Thank Frieda for turning me on to you and thank you for being FIERCE!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

You've made my day with this lovely review Shirlena :) Thank you so much for the kind words...Frieda.. read more
Shirlena

10 Years Ago

You both have skills...you're welcomed :)
"Today I wanted to be accepted
Night has arrived with reinforced snowflakes
and the chill on my hot back
has me wondering if I would rather be feared"
The ending gave balance and reason for the poem. The strong description create visions and thoughts about unknown and places of mystery. I wanted to read more. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Thank you Coyote, so glad you enjoyed it...I actually wrote the beginning and end of this piece befo.. read more
schizo Spring makes schizo rain ..for sure ..get her to the shrink before we skip right back to winter again ..:)
anyway ..lots going on in this had to read and re-read so to try and capture as much as i can ... i like the take on writing and writers ... well said .. i read some good advice here ... if one accepts the praise one must accept equally the blistering critique ...
many disappointments in the world of artistic endeavor .. lots of scars .. insecurity and pain .. hell actually those are the igniters of passion aren't they ;)
i love the ironic humor of the title ...lots of great lines but for sure the ending is a killer ... the introduction of maybe i should be feared is powerful think i .. and remember ..nothing ventured nothing gained ..right??!
going to read this once more before i mosey down the yellow brick road ...
love and peace always
E.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

kublakhan27

10 Years Ago

Thanks so much Einstein, it means a lot to know that this piece took you to so many places. This on.. read more

Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1455 Views
49 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 9 Libraries
Added on March 29, 2014
Last Updated on March 29, 2014
Tags: depression, frustration, self-indulgence, defence, success, acknowledgement, attention, happy, sad, sheepish, acceptance, fear

Author

kublakhan27
kublakhan27

Nova Scotia, Canada



About
My first book is out! Any comments that anyone may have to offer regarding my work would be deeply appreciated, as I'm yet to get a review. www.amazon.com/Waltz-Around-Swirls-Steven-Fortune/dp.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..