like fireflies

and like fireflies we can give life to this one night
close your eyes and burn me with the passionate light.

Reviews

[Sara Mercury]

That's good, but to be honest, it would have far more impact to say,

"...and like fireflies we can give life to this one night / close your eyes and burn WITH ME in the passionate light ..."

(I have to say this, cos this is how I read it the first time. When I read it the second time, I saw what was really written there, and I thought, you know ... it might be worth putting over to the writer to ask his opinion.) Well, what say you? (This is a suggestion only; your work is fine - being a writer myself I don't like suggestions - they're merely criticism in disguise... lol)

Oh, and 'fireflies' in your opening line is missing the 'f'. : Smiles, and Happy New Year!!!!

[Goodbye]

Who could resist such an invitation from such a lovely poet? A little poem with great passionate sentiment behind it!

[Jeff]

Great imagery!

[Robin]

vivid image and searing emotion ~ i look forward to more of these

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

sensate and visually lyrical~ love the mixture of enchantment~