Wings of the Sea

I can't live in dreams, if I want my dreams to come true~Cinderella~ This is my first attempt at a villanelle.

I set sail my heart on wings of the sea one day

Go where you wish, oh heart, I'm only along to play

'Foolish girl', elders say, 'dreaming her life away.'

 

Boisterous tunnels swallowed my light with glee

I swayed and laughed for my strong heart went on

I set sail my heart on wings of the sea one day

 

Misery brought cold nights to visit, I let them in

Questions knocked, ponders lodged, beating my heart to fray

'Foolish girl', elders say, 'dreaming her life away.'

 

When at last I longed to stop, I lost my way

Journey had hardened my heart's passage

I set my heart on wings of the sea one day

 

Wings! Oh Wings! I shall listen now, place me in the hands of another

My heart longs for the warmth of a lover

'Foolish girl', elders say, 'dreaming her life away.'

 

Wrestling to a shore unseen, my heart's hope began to creep....to seep

Broken into shards, my heart sank into the deep, deep, deep

I set sail my heart on wings of the sea

'Foolish girl', elders say, 'dreaming her life away.'

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

There is so much touched upon in this particular piece, I am sorry that it took me so long to get to it. It is sad that the "elders" are so caught up in the "reality" of their lives and what is needed to be done by them on a day to day - that they have lost their ability to "dream" and see them as a waste of time. They are so caught up in the hubbub of the day... but still, you set your heart free - to dream on the wings of the sea... I am not normally one to comment on form, preferring the message - but in this case the message goes so well with the form - as if giving life to a dream on the wings of your words. Well done...

[Jason Henry]

love the repitition in this piece...actually, you do it more than anyone i've read in here...kinda ur signature technique. but its a very lovely, beautiful, moving write...thanks for sharing

[Don Coorough]

What better way to spend one's life than to dream it away on reveries of the gorgeous splendors this world has to offer. You reveal your heart and speak to all of us who are dreamers. Lovely! - EllisD

[Spilled Her Guts in Cur..]

This was great. I loved it and it's sometimes pretty hard to express all you want in a poem when it's structured {i love vilanelles, by the way} but you did it well. Great write.

[Charles D. Moorer]

This is different from your other work. It shows another side of your range. Emotionally charged and packed with powerful metaphor of the sea.

[Mark D. Chevalier]

Wow! Just loved this poem! Deep with imagery and full of emotion. The first line of each stanza propelled me into the next...and with glee! "Misery brought cold nights to visit, I let them in: Questions knocked, ponders lodged, beating my heart to fray."
Bloody brilliant!
Mark

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow spectacular write... it's hard sometimes to follow your dreams when everyone around you is telling you it can't be done and your wasting your time.

[Lia]

Love this poem! Great write, keep up the good work xx